Random Dreams and Stuff

So, I dreamed Belinda McClory (who looked more masculine than usual) and I were in some sort of acting workshop and/or play together.
I got to hold onto her feet (Yes, I'm weird. I think we've established this many times over) and tell her how awesome I think she is, and she was very patient and actually put up with it and even smiled. :-D
This rather-a-loser dude (with a really huge cup-to-go from, like, starbucks or something) was my acting partner for the workshop, and he was kind of pissed that (during break, no less), we were both ignoring his attempts to get our attention and/or hit on us.
Belinda's workshop partner was a gal, but I have no idea who she was or what she looked like. Even though she was sitting Right There, and listening to our conversation, and everything, she was basically just another one of those Extras for the Street Scenes. <*shrug*>


In other news: My gods, my knuckles are raw. I've got something akin to chillblains (no idea how to spell that word), I think. Or photocopying-induced eczema. One or the other. I've been dribbling vitamin-e oil all over them (and wore gloves to bed last night), and it's helped a tad. But yow. Still raw, rough and not that unlikely to keep from cracking and bleeding (again!) today.
Perhaps a small tub of moisturizer is in order. :-)


Also: I re-checked amazon.ca for when my stuff is supposed to arrive? Any time between yesterday and the 29th. I'm hoping for soon. :-) Then I shall have spiffy, spiffy poetry to read, and spiffy, spiffy Eurythmics to-which to listen. :-)
Which will be lovely. :-)


Gotta get ready for work. :-)


- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)

Books 2008 (III)

Okay, today I finished another book, and started one which has gotten me thinking, so I thought I'd throw it out here. :-)

the book I finished:

Bitchfest
A collection of articles that have run in Bitch Magazine for the last ten years (or, well, between its inception and its tenth anniversary, at any rate).
It was really good and had lots of stuff about queering cultural ideas of what it means to be a parent, Of Colour visibility in network tv, grassroots organizing, and all sorts of other stuff that has to do with the intersection of pop culture and feminism.
I vote YAY. :-)



The book I started:

Love is Letting Go of Fear
This is a new age thing, and it shows.
As much as it does have some useful points buried under the tripe in there, it is written in very, very "New-Age-Rhymes-With-Sewage" type language.

I was on the bus tonight when I realized what it was about that style of language that bothers me. It's this:


There is the constant implication that any negative feelings one experiences (sadness, anger, jealousy, despair, fear, whatever) are bad or wrong. That if you just learn to think positively and decide that you're not going to feel that way anymore, then you will stop feeling that way.
Which would be well and good if this (and other, similar books, seminars, lecturers, etc) had any useful suggestions for how to go about doing that.
But rather than suggesting some careful soul-searching in order to figure out what is triggering these feelings, and some deeper soul-searching to figure out what, in you, makes them triggers, this book (etc) simply tells you to decide to stop feeling that way.
As if it were really that easy.

It's like the thing about "you create your own reality" - which, I might add, is damn easy for the white, male, ivy-league-educated MD from California to say. That kind of talk/thinking/belief can lead to people going "to hell with this, I don't have to take this nasty situation any more, I am going to do something about it," but it can also (more likely, in my opinion) lead to feelings of despair and inadequacy. As in "Despite all of my efforts, I still can't seem to get out of this chronic poverty. It can't possibly be because this poverty is, well, chronic, cyclical, institutionalized, race-and-class-based poverty that has been in place, in one form or another, for centuries. I must just not be trying hard enough".
It's the same damn 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps', 'american dream' garbage as before, the same status quo as before, just repackaged with crystals and daily affirmations. :-P

Similarly the "If you feel bad, there's something wrong with you specifically for feeling that way in the first place" theory/implication is not going to help anyone (a) own their emotions, or - with that in mind - (b) find ways to resolve those emotions.
Bad vibes are there for a reason. They tell you when Something Is Up. Ignoring them in the name of achieving inner peace? Doesn't work.
And that seems to be what this book, and this kind of language, are encouraging people/readers to do. To ignore/abandon their sadness/fear/discomfort/whatever instead of digging into it to understand where it is coming from.

Recycled Clothing Ahoy! :-D

So I got about half a dozen $1.99, mostly-black (slogans and stuff aside) t-shirts from Value Village today. I've been hacking them up since I got home. My plan is to make a super-comfortable cotton-knit dress with a funky top - one shoulder + a re-vamped bra-hiding 'strap' that's made of gathered fabric - and a gathered full skirt that doesn't quite make it to my knees.
I think it'll be cute.
I know it'll be super comfortable.
Plus I like the idea of getting a one-of-a-kind dress for less than $15 and some elbow grease. :-)

We'll see if it works. :-)


Tomorrow, I'll have to mail a copy of "I'll be seeing you" (sheet music) down to Ithaca. I tried faxing it, but it didn't quite work. Besides, I've got a CD or two to send down anyway. I figure it can all go at the same time. ;-)


Time for me to hit the sack. :-)


- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)