amazon_syren: (Default)
( Jul. 12th, 2013 03:52 pm)
Feeling somewhat better.
Told my lovely wife my Ridculously Convaluted Idea that would tie in Imogene's third opponent to her inherited house... and she said "I can totally see that happening. Also, you just summarized your book for me without blowing the ending."


So, having been told by someone that the idea is actually workable and not a giant cluster-fuck, I'm going to run with it. (I would have run with it anyway, but I would have tried to down-play it as much as possible, rather than trying to see what happens when I make it a major focal point in the story).

I'm so relieved.

It means I don't have to find a way for Imogene's Mom (Louise) to show up unannounced and uninvited on the premises (which is good, because I was SO not prepared to go there).

Also, my paycheque from RHO arrived AND I got my tax refund (thank you Mitzu, Mattaer, and anyone else who had a hand in that one), which means that the phone bill and 1/3 of the credit card bill are now paid AND we have eggs, tomatoes, and snap beans. Huzzah! :-D

Now to make pickles. And maybe some other stuff.

This article blew my mind (from Tiger Beatdown):
Girl Culture and the Race to the Bottom.

It also made me go "Really? They thought I was too confident???"

Follow-Up Article (from Yes Means Yes):
I Fear This (written by someone with a daughter, in response to the Tiger Beatdown piece).

I think this is the first time I've heard his voice.

I think he has good things to say.

I think I need to take them to heart.
amazon_syren: (Default)
( Dec. 20th, 2009 12:46 pm)
So, in a comment-thread of a friend's post, one of her friends said:

"I turn vicious to defend myself and my reactions, because no one, including myself, defended me as a kid."

I think I know a lot of people who do variations on this for exactly that reason. Myself, I suspect, included.

I thought it was well-stated, so I'm putting it up here 'cause I think it needs to be heard. :-)
amazon_syren: (This is What a Feminist Looks Like)
( Sep. 14th, 2009 11:17 am)
First, a link forwarded to me by one of the gals from my old Goddess BookClub:
A (M)otherworld is Possible: Two Feminist Visions. A conference on gift-economy, motherhood, environmentalism, and all that good stuff. It's at York, this October. :-D

From No Not You, via Torrain:
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips: Guaranteed to Work!
These ones actually DO work. Read and implement!!!

From Jezebel:
Whoop Goldberg Bring Sex-Possitivity to "The View" (video clip).

From Pandagon:
On Riot Grrrl, 90s Feminism, and... apparently... Kids these days? Haven't read this the whole way through, so my first impression may be off by a tad. FYI.


Two From Fugitivus:
Looking Back -- on body image, sexuality, self-worth, and abuse.

[...The] part of my brain that could operate independently, for my own pleasure, and with any strength of conviction, was atrophied to the point of non-existence.

Both of the Fugitivus ones are epiphany-big. Not nearly as HYOOJ as her "Rape Doesn't Happen in a Vacuum" Post(s), but fairly large, none the less.
Go. Read. I'm guessing they will both ring some bells for a few of the people reading this.

- Amazon.
amazon_syren: (Default)
( Sep. 5th, 2009 12:40 pm)

This morning, I went on my walk.

I walked along Dows Lake and then up to Carleton U.
There was a couple fishing in Dows Lake. Three lines. They had a pile of fish and had probably been there for some time. Little perches and small-mouth bass.

I got to C.U. and then realized that I'd left my tape at home (woops). So no postering there today. But I left a poster at the used text-book store on Sunnyside and one at Mothertongue (which, granted, was closed -- hopefully it'll still be there when it opens).

I walked past the Sunnyside branch of the OPL. I really like that place. It's kinda pretty and I really like their garden. It's got poppies and sunflowers and corn and pumpkins and milkweed and mallow flowers and all sorts of stuff! I love it! :-D

I did *not* go to the house on Sunnside and Riverdale that has the bunch of in-fruit fig trees. More fool me. ;-)

Followed the canal back from Sunnyside to the Somerset bridge. Got to watch the Pretoria Bridge lift up to let a boat through (which was kinda cool).

Sat on the benches every so often. (Had raspberry smoothy and a cupcake. It was tasty). Drew a picture. (There are houses on Sunnyside that are sort of funky-industrial boxes with sheet metal and plexiglass and stuff on them. Kinda cool looking and kinda weird. I kind of like them. ;-) Contemplated landlordhood (yeah, right, but still. A day-dream is a daydream. :-)

Picked up orange juice, milk, frozen raspberries, frozen blueberries (frozen fruit = on sale at the hartmann's, btw), and icecream (same), and then headed home.

Groceries have been put away, stove has been cleaned (due to scalded milk from yesterday, I mean), and now I'm cooking curry-coriander pumpkin soup on the stove.
Have already burned things to the bottom of the pot, just a little (woops), but it should be okay. :-)
Here's hoping it tastes good. :-)

[EDIT: It tastes sweeter than I expected. A little lemon might help with that, or adding extra stuff like fresh herbs or sauteed mushrooms or something... But it's a good purreed-soup base. It's currently chilling in my fridge before going in the freezer. /EDIT]

Am also coming down from the hugely happy state I was in on my walk. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeenteresting. Hm...

Maybe I'll take another walk this afternoon and/or sit and write in a park or read tarot cards or something.

It's weird how that happens. How I get into the house and start doing things and, very, very quickly, I start fading like that. More than a little bit... worrying? Maybe that's not the right word. But... worthy of note, I think.

Anyway. Part of me want to try making a necklace for my mom (She wants an amethyst and pearls necklace using the beads from my great-grandmother's fake-pearl necklace. It's going to be her xmas present).

I also want to try making jelly. Which will involve going out and finding an old, threadbare cotton pillow-case to serve as my jelly-bag, and also harvesting a bunch of crab apples from Confederation Park and/or a bunch of rosehips from along the canal (they are SO bright and plump right now!)
I'm thinking crab-apple/cayenne/ginger for one. I think the rosehip jelly would involve apple juice and maybe a little lemon and... cinamon? Maybe? Not sure.

Anyway. Right this second, I'm eating cherry-chocolate-chunk icecream and thinking about going out again this afternoon with my tarot cards and my notebook and The Artist's Way which is, so far, proving not too terrible a thing to be doing. :-)

Sara may call in a little bit, though, so I figure I'll wait for a while. :-)

- Amazon.
amazon_syren: (Default)
( Aug. 13th, 2009 12:26 pm)
Link from Fugitivus:
On Rapists and Jokes That Relieve Tension. Thought provoking? You bet!

And, from the same blog:
On How Growing Up in an Emotionally Abusive Home can Fuck You Up But Good. Triggering? You betcha! <*insert rictus grin here*>
Okay, Internets, there's a book about patterns of violence and how to spot them a mile away. I know there are at least two people reading this who have come accross the title before (in Namaah's journal, I think), so I'm hoping they (or any of you) can tell me what it's called.

It's something like "Inheritance of Fear" or something.

Help? :-)

- Amazon.

I was in a really crappy mood yesterday afternoon and evening. Which wasn't helped by either the yeast infection, OR the 'a' key on my computer getting wonky, OR my cupcakes totally falling apart when I tried to take them out of the pan. :-P
Very disappointing.


I came back from phamily dinner - in-so-far as it happened - in no better a mood (yes, I could have rung Commodorified's doorbell, but she's swamped with work and I didn't want to bug her. I figured that if she was up for coming down, she'd find me on the front porch and that would be that), and seriously wondering what was up with myself.
I'm kind of expecting to start bleeding shortly, as it ws that kind of a totally pervaisive, can't-find-the-roots-of-it frustration that I sometimes get when I'm PMSing.
We shall see, I'm sure.

Anyway. I came home, got online, and discovered Go Fug Yourself. Which is a catty, catty blog that picks apart the not-so-fantstic/flattering outfits of various hollywood celebrities.

I loved it!

I went from feeling like a total bitch who was unfit company for actual human being to chuckling and feeling much better about life in general.
In, like, maybe an hour.

It's *phenomenal*! (Thank you, Nadine, for linking to it on your blog!)

Anyway. So, yes, I have a rude-ass-bitch streak in me, and I think it's much better to channel it towards celebrities who don't know I exist than it is to inadvertently snap at people I actually like.

So three cheers for Go Fug Yourself, for making the world a slightly better place. ;-)
So, I went to Umi last night to read a few poems at their monthly Women's Spoken Word event.
Hexpiritus was the feature performer, so we got to hang out for a bit. Which was fun. :-)

Inconveniently, the event had not been particularly well-organized (or well-advertised) so, for quite some time, there was only me and Hex listed as performers. (I was rather glad that I'd brought a lot of poetry. And that I was able to remember a couple more off the top of my head).

In the end, we had a total of five performers, which is not spectacular, but given that it more than doubled our original line-up, I'd say it's pretty good.

You'll note I'm using terms like "we" and "our".

See. Sergio, one of the Umi guys (he sets up the sound-system and the lights for performances, and - I think - does the website, among other things), pointed out that this event should definitely continue as a monthly thing, but that it needs someone to do the Organizing.
Hex has buckets of experience and know what it takes to get something like this off the ground and keep it there.
I do not, but I *am* a good flunky and I'm more than a little happy for the opportunity to get a little more involved in The Scene.

To that end, by the way, I need suggestions for local (or in-town-at-the-right-time) women writers/spoken!word-artists/poets who are reliable and reliably good at what they do because we need to line up some feature performers.
I'm thinking Meghan Butcher, as one possible headliner, but other suggested are, um, needed. :-) (Luna Allison, obviously, but she may have other things to do at this point. So I don't know about approching her).
There's a women's writing collective... Kimera (or something - verification, anyone?) who've performed at Raw Sugar before and maybe they'd like to get in on this.

Anyway. Think-think-think. :-)

In other news:
After the VoV show, a bunch of us went down to the Elmdale Tavern in Hintonburg to see a short performance by the Sin Sisters burlesque troupe. They are adorable and fabulous. :-) There was houla-hooping (impressive), a fan dance (sultry), a strip-tease duet (adorable!) and a story (funny).
There was also a kissing booth. Hex's friend, Morris, got us kisses. It was fun. :-) (Turns out I get ridiculously bashful when kissed by pretty girls. Not that this is much of a surprise).

Anyway. After their show, I headed home. Walked part way with Hex, which was nice. Got in the door at ten minutes to midnight. Went to bed. Woke up when the phone rang.
My darling had a trio of clients tonight and she had a *fantastic* time with them. So she wanted to tell me about it, and I was quite happy to talk with her (despite being super-groggy) because we hadn't been able to talk much early that day, so it was nice to play catch-up, so to speak. :-) Plus, y'know, I got to tell her about being involved with Voices of Venus and about getting to kiss pretty girls. Which is always nice. :-)

Also: I had multiple people telling me that I'm pretty/beautiful/etc (this is what comes of matching your eyeliner to your dress, apparently) yesterday, so I walked home feeling pretty phenominal. :-)

In short: Yesterday was AWESOME, and I want to have more days like that! :-D

Today: Dinner chez Raynedaze et al. :-) I think I'll be picking up some berries or other fruit to share around. :-) YAY! Fruit! :-D

- Amazon. :-)
amazon_syren: (Default)
( May. 4th, 2009 08:29 pm)
Why this has been a good week:

I've had the oportunity to use my brain to think about *and discuss* stuff that matters to me. And it's also been stuff which I am trained to discuss. Go me! :-D

It has been incredibly nice to remind myself that (A) I have a brain, that (B) works! and (C) I can talk about stuff I believe in, and (D) do so coherently, maybe even eloquently, and (E) have other people listen to me and (F) appreciate what I have to say.

That is a fucking AWESOME (re-)discovery!

Go Me! :-D

Also: Therapy was awesome. :-D Who knew? :-D
amazon_syren: (Default)
( Apr. 30th, 2009 10:40 am)
From Work:
Good Mental Health.

I'm hungry.
I'm hungry despite the fact that I've just devoured an entire loaf of bread (it was a small loaf, but still).

I want my passion back.

Sometimes I have glimmers of it. A sunny day when I'm out walking, the luck of a poem springing from my lips/mind/pen, laughing with my girl on the phone.

I need to clean.

I feel weighed down by all the STUFF in my apartment. The garbage (and MORE, the recycling) needs to be taken out, the floors vacuumed, the tables tidied, the dishes (perpetually) washed. Especially the tupperware.
Seriously, sometimes I just want to throw it all out and get new, clean ones, just to avoid having to wash them. :-P
Of all the silly things.
I've got two huge boxes of books (and, possibly, one patio chair) to get rid of. Still need to go through my clothes, decide what to keep, what to modify, what to give away.

Part of me thinks that if I only ever had four of everything (four plates, bowls, mugs, glasses, bread-plate (though that's kind of cheating), forks, knives, spoons (tea spoons?), and enough tupperware to pack one week's worth of lunches) that I'd have a better time with the dishes. That there would never be enough dishes to fall back on for me to accumulate more than one load at a time. Mondays and Thursdays: Dish night. (Like only having seven pairs of socks so that you have to do the laundry once a week).

I need airy space again.
Like if I spend Saturday cleaning (before Ursula, assuming I can snag a ticket from Octopus Books today) and cleaning and cleaning, laundry and dishes and vacuuming and more dishes and taking out all of the various types of trash...
Like I'll have my space back again and it'll be *mine* not my stuff's.
Like if I get everything cleaned up and Perfect (or very close there-to) and then go out for pho or something and get the kind of groceries that can be turned into Instant Food without actually *being* heavily processed crap[1], that I'll be okay again.

I miss earthy stuff, if that makes any sense.
I'm getting my old hankering for artisan bread and organic tomatoes and gardening and permaculture and wild foods and making things from scratch again.
And this isn't a bad thing at all. (although when you keep looking at your bank slips going "Okay, *where* did that $100 go???", it can become a probem. But so can eating out (or buying 1L of milk + a loaf of bread per day) regularly, buying ice cream, getting new clothes, and all the rest of it).

I think that part of this hankering is not acutally about food. It's about creation and creativity and feeding my soul.

So I read poetry again (Ami_B? You'd probably like "Covering Rough Ground" by Kate Braid. It's all about being a woman and carpenter. ;-) and hope that the cadences of emotion-writing will come back to me with the spring.

Gotta go now.

- Amazon.

[1] Think baby tomatoes and pre-cut baby carrots instead of anything that needs to be peeled or cut, for example. Making six mini-loaves of bread of a weekend and then bringing one for lunch every day, or cooking an entire tray of drumsticks for the same reason. Know what I mean?)

Dinner last night was interesting.

I say "interesting" because I was watching how I reacted to it.

See, typically, $35 = dinner for two in my world, not dinner for one. I'm cheap like that, I guess. Either that or I have some sort of hidden Issue around treating myself well.

I say this because, sitting on my own, eating at the bar in Canvas, this tiny, local/organic/sustainable restaurant in Hintonburg, I ate slowly, savoured the roasted tomatoes (which are, quite possibly, my new Very Favourite Thing), the mushrooms, read snippets of my book between bites of spinach gnoche, mopped up the pesto with torn bits of bread.
It felt very sensual.
Verging on erotic.
The kind of thing that could easily be labled a guilty pleasure.
I ordered dessert (khalua creme brulee - which was rich and smooth and creamy without being heavy or greasy or too over-the-top sweet) and then raspberry tea to finish.
(Glad I didn't order the soup of the day, but only because I wouldn't have had room for dessert if I had. Butternut squash with vanilla and coconut: It looked and smelled quite wonderful, I have to say).

Maybe this is because I'm a headonist who grew up in a house that frowns on pleasure.
But that meal felt surprisingly good.

(If I were independently wealthy, I suspect I would spend my life eating at good restaurants and getting spa treatments. Possibly globe-trotting, as long as I got to fly first class. ;-)

After dinner, I strolled down the street to CUBE Gallery. The poetry reading started late, but it was pretty decent.

The one gal (second reader) had a style that was very choppy. Sara says "Maybe she just really likes Yoko Ono".
The kind of reading style
... down...

Seemingly at random.

(I wonder - suspect - wonder if this is a way of putting emphasis on things that might or might not claim emphasis for themselves just by being read normally but out loud. It might also be a way of reading so that the way the words look on the page are the way they sound to the listener. Sort of a way of making the blank spaces (the tab-keys, whatever) show up whe you're reading aloud).

It was interesting. She read a series of connected poems that become more coherent (to my mind) as the main character reclaims her boundaries, her autonomy and her life after what sounded like a really crappy relationship (with a man - father/boyfriend/something else, I don't know).

Memorable line:
My sugar cube in her mouth
keeps his taste

Closing line of the cycle she read:
I am breathing on my own now
I am breathing
on my own

I liked those bits. :-)

With that in mind, and with a small collection of poetry books stuffed into my bag this morning, I have written a poem of my own. (I hope there will be more to follow).

It's called "Clouds", and it's located here.

On a similar note, because it's still technically Poetry Month but also because it's Mayworks already, a piece by Kate Braid:


General Strike, 1987

See this sign? In Protest it says
but it syas more, things
you won't see printed here
no matter how hard you strain
those eyes.

It says I'm fed up with all this
farting around.
I can't talk pretty like some
but I know that I vote
for every damned thing
in my union. Now tell me
the last time the boss
asked my opinion on the foreman's salary
or how fast the green chain moves,
through nobody knows better than me
what could make that place hum
for the better of all of us.

I give'em my blood and my msucle
for eight hours of the day and still
they say when I work and "if" and
when I take a break and "if" and whether
they'll give me earmuffs for the job or
if I got to buy my own, though
you go deaf fast without'em
and some days
it's a half hour overtime, no extra pay,
'cause the boss has a rush on, no care
that I'm the one got to pick up the kids
'cause the wife works afternoons.

So when they said I have too much power
I damn split a gut laughing, 'til
they told me I didn't have a job no more
lest I work for less.
If this is too much power then
what do I make of Timothy Eaton or Conrad Black
who don't seem too worried about the next
mortgage payment or if they can send their eldest
to a better school 'cause teacher says
she's bright.

Me and the people like me,
we built this province, board by board
and we built it good
and if this government says
I'm a traitor for asking
for a steady job or the right to question
what they did to make my work life worse
then I'm on the march. See this sign? It says
I'm fed up
with all this farting around.

Braid, Kate. 1991. Covering Rough Ground. Polestar Book Publishers. Vancouver, B.C. Pp. 50-51.
It's been a 90% good day.

The other 10% were spent crying, largely in my office though partially at therapy, because I am mourning my marriage.
Again. Or possibly still.
Basically, I feel really rotten for hurting him, which I've done. More, I suspect, than I originally realized. :-(

Sara called me this evening, which was really nice.
She's nervous about her audition for the dance troup in NYC - she finally got ahold of the people and found out what she needs to prepare (Nothing: She'll be learning the choreography there, and there *might* be some improv work), so she's got that on her mind. She asked me how work was (which was nice of her). I told her about the above-mentioned crying in my office, and she told me about looking up trans!porn producers to see if she can find people who would be good for the particular facet of her carreer. We talked a bit about this coming weekend and where (and when, oh gods...) sleeping will occur. I told her that I'm really proud of her for how hard she's working at this (she was on her way to the subway and this evening's shift at the club). We said goodnight and lots of love to each other, and she went into the subway where the reception is terrible, and so that was our conversation.
It was really nice.
It wasn't an exiciting conversation, it was just the two of us chatting together about stuff that we've been thinking about and stuff that needs to get done.
It was remarkably comforting because of that. :-)

In other news: I have nicked (ish) four pictures from the photoshoot Idioglossia did with me on Saturday.
Yes, I will post them somewhere and add links. But not just yet. I am tired and need to get up in 7.5 hours. So not yet.

However. THIS is the author of the book and the stories/letters which inspired the photographs. Go forth and read! :-D

- Amazon. :-)
I am exhausted.

I am also HAPPY!

Yesterday went swimmingly!

If January 23rd was an astonishingly awesome day, so-to has been February 7th. :-D

Idioglossia came over just before noon. She moved furniture (I futzed around in the kitchen, putting chocolate-ginger-pumpkin bread in the oven), we went out to the Yang Sheng and she got us take-out noodles and chicken and shrimp and such-like. :-)

After eating (and feeling much better all around), we started shooting.
By-which I mean playing.
See, I LOVE playing dress-up. It was one of my favourite games when I was a kid.
And this was basically playing dress-up.
This was getting out every piece of jewelery that I own and piling it in a heap that took up most of my coffee table (well, once it was spread out) and having my hands and feet and face and sternum and shoulderblade written on with marker that smelled like toasted marshmallow. It was getting makeup put on my feet, and playing games with light and shadow (I quite enjoy "find the interesting contour" and will have to try it with a bare bulb and a mirror again some time).

I really like working with Idioglossia. She knows the kind of images she's going for, and actually has a plan when she shows up to a shoot. And she's cool with colaboration, and if she wants something specific, she'll actually SAY SO, and she shows me tricks and stuff (like the purpose of hideously pale, glossy "lipstick" -- now I know!) and I actually *learn stuff* when I'm working with her!

This is why I love this job. This is why I would love to do this stuff (and get paid for it! Whee!) often enough to make (some of) my living at it. Because it's FUN and I ENJOY IT!

Anyway. After the photoshoot (which finished up a little after 8pm -- not bad. $100 for eight hours of work. That's better than my rate of pay at DND, and the job is more fun, too!) I dolled myself up and headed over to Commodorified's place for a wonderful, wonderful party.
There was singing.
There was a poetry competition of sorts between Torrain (who I was desperately happy to see, as I don't think I've actually laid eyes on her since, like, May) and Commodorified -- basically who runs out of lines first combined with who cracks up first -- filthy limerics vs lined from the Gashlycrumb Tinies. (WHEE!)
There was icewine and chocolat and very spiffy cheeses and port and/or madiera (I can't spell) and limes squares and candied nuts and maple whisky and meade and chocolate cake and baguettes and garlicy goo.
There was wonderful, chatty conversation with various wonderful, chatty people!

I feel fucking fantastic after that! :-D (Seriously! I was so tired after the shoot that I was starting to crash -- sorry Idioglossia -- but I got in the door of this party and I was re-energized (still tired, but no-longer frazzled, so to speak) within aproximately two minutes. Possibly less. How awesome is that???)

Also, I now have blue toenails that will be getting bluer in a few minutes (first coat has to dry).

Plans for the day:

Brunch with the Slashers (if I'm very lucky, I may get away with a pair of jeans from this outing)
Phone Sara
Photography fun (followed by dinner) with Terry et al chez Raynedaze
Fall into bed, exsausted but still happy, remembering to set the alarm for work tomorrow.


This should be a good day. :-)

In other news: I can't find my blasted foundation. This is a problem. Idioglossia, it didn't randomly end up in your makeup kit, did it? (Unlikely, but I figured I'd ask).
[EDIT: Found it. I'd gone and put it "back" into my purse, along with my lipbalm. Ahahahaha. Silly me. ;-) /EDIT]

Off to brunch now! :-D

- Amazon. :-D
I was at work today.

I may even get a chance to use my brain at this job. (Woah...) But we shall see. :-)

Regardless, the people are really nice, and my boss is fun and has an awesome manicure, and her boss is fun and has pink-and-black hair and is in a rock band. So I'm not the only weirdo in the office. ;-)

But. Because I can't get my computer up and running until I have a building pass, and can't have a building pass until I fill out a bunch of forms that require things like a PRI and next-of-kin contact information (which I need to re-located, but definitely didn't have on me today), I spent most of today reading up on things.
It went well. It was a leisurely start to the contract, and it also meant that I (A) went home an hour early, and (B) had a chance to think about What I Want.

See. I need to figure that out. I still have no earthly notion of what I want career-wise. But at least I can, like, make lists and flow-charts and so-on about what I want in my life. And this is some of what I put down:

Creativity: Fashion (design, general enjoyment), music (singing -- jazz, opera, etc), photography (modeling), writing (poetry, prose, often erotic)

Security: financial, emotional (trust, general got-my-head-together-ness) -- (mental = also good, but that's more under control right now)

Sensuality: sex, romance, lush fabrics, great shoes, comfort, pedicures, long baths (with awesome-smelling bath STUFF), erotica, great food (fresh fruit, organics, good wine, smoked salmon, chocolate mousse, fresh greens, and everything else), perfume, massages, candle light, warm blankets, peoples' nice skin to touch and be touched by

Beauty: See Sensuality and Creativity

Passion: Also See Sensuality and Creativity

Radical Feminism: Environmentalism (organics, eco-paganism/eco-feminism), trans rights, sex workers' rights, sex-possitivity in general

There were a couple of others, but those are the big ones. As you can see, sensuality and creativity are kind of high on the list. ;-)

I kind of want to get one of those books that shows you how to make a million and one Nifty Articles of Clothing out of old t-shirts. Just 'cause I like recycled clothing. (I suspect I could find one at the OPL, actually. Or just figure things out on my own. ;-)
I like the idea of going through the racks at, like, St. Vincent de Paul's or something and snagging a bunch of old, monochromatic-yet-pattered light pull-overs or what-not and cutting them up and turning them into funky, warm, dresses that I could wear to work or a show or a club or all of the above (if I'm *really* good. ;-)
I'd like to make a couple of sun-dresses out of these two batiked skirts that I've got, and I have vague ideas for fet-type cocktail dresses that could be constructed out of old raincoats or something like that.

At least that's the idea. :-)

Anyway. If any of these see more than the idea stage, I'll be thrilled (though, at present, slightly surprised). But at least the ideas are there for me to hunt through, should I ever find myself with the opportunity to sew some stuff. :-)

Aditionally, I had a nice chat with Sara today. Just yammering away about fashion, for the most part. It was light and fun and we laughed together, and I am happy about this.
She told me she's kind of been a space-cadet since she decided that she wasn't going to do her restaurant anymore (so late December, maybe?) - that she's still trying to get herself to focus and what-not.
Fair enough.
(Part of me sighs, fondly, and thinks "That's my silly girl..." when she says that, even though the thought is kind of awfully condescending. Another part of me goes "Really? You don't say..." and yet another part of me is going "Ah... Hm... So maybe you'll get your head together and start, like, being able to focus... on me? Perhaps? At some point?" Who knows. But it's something to think about. Or maybe not. ;-)
But it was nice to talk and feel connected and not be slightly freaking out at the same time.
That felt really good, I have to tell you.
And she was asking what my work-hours are, and finding out when my contract goes 'til and stuff like that there, which was nice of her. :-)
Anyway. Feeling better now than I was both last night and this morning. YAY! :-D

In other news: I wrote another poem: Written in Skin. Go have a read. :-)

- Amazon. :-)
amazon_syren: (Default)
( Jan. 9th, 2009 01:49 am)
Busy Social Weekend has already begun. :-D

Went out for dinner with Raynedaze and Tsivia (Shwarma! Yummy!)
Exchanged vaguely flirty smiles with the dude working behind the counter, just because I could (and because it was nice to be out and about for once). :-)
Went home with Raynedaze to nosh on cookies, coffee and tea (and tastey pound cake with andied fruit in it). Got to hang out with Commodorified, as well. Whee! :-D

Tomorrow: Lunch! Whee! Followed by play-date! Whee! :-D (Back on Saturday, don't yet know what time -- may depend on the weather).

Note: I hear that it's going to get DAMN cold in a few days -- around mid-week next week, I think? Will be asking Miz Sara when she's due to get back into Ottawa and, if it's a time during-which I'm able to meet her at the bus, I will offer to bring her winter coat and super-warm boots to her, 'cause damn. That's just no good. (Then again, if she's just grabbing a cab home, this may not be an issue). Anyway. Something to look into.

Saturday: Back in Ottawa (weather permitting -- which it totally should). I curl up in my bed and snooze. At least that's the plan. :-)

Sunday: Slasher's Brunch! :-D (I think this is still at the usual location, is it not? Or are we doing Dim Sum?)

Monday: Depending on employment (or lack thereof) I may be meeting Miz Commodorified for coffee chez Umi in the afternoon. I know that, in the evening, I will be seeing Miz Seanchaidh, as she is crashing chez moi on Monday nights for the duration of the bus-strike (or the semester, which-ever is over first. ;-)

Therapy was good today. Not exactly fraught with accomplishments or breakthroughs, but that's not too surprising. It's been a while since I had a session and much of this was just relating what's gone on in the past little while. Much of which (aside from the employment problems) has been quite possitive in its outcome.
I mentioned to her about my idle consideration of a move to Toronto -- she (being a York girl, and so somewhat biased, but also somewhat knowledgeable of the area) said that she thought I'd absolutely thrive in Toronto because of all the different scenes there that I could get into so easily.
Which was kind of nice to hear.
Still not much decided on this, one way or the other. (I'm a little worried about how much of my consideration of this option is due, not to my own wants and needs, but to the fact that it would be easier to see Sara frequently, and for longer durations, if I were in Toronto -- In part because of the Mega Bus, in part because she'd be up working at Goodhandy's and The Lounge relatively often. Which, granted, is definitely a want. But I'd prefer it if I were entering into significant ammounts of Upheval for more reasons that just the one).

Also: Learned about "Consolidated Moves" -- a set-up wherein a bunch of different people share a moving van who are all moving to the same city. Basically an alternative to the U-Haul (for us non-drivers). Something to look into if ever I do end up moving.

Anyway. It's pretty damn close to 2:30am - which is crazy (for me, at least), so I'm going to go to bed before I screw myself out of all possible chances of getting myself out of bed before 10am. :-)

As a side note: Sara has a date tonight. Not a client. A date. I am - somewhat to my surprise - pretty-much entirely okay with this. I came home to a phone message wherein she told me she has a date with this guy (who totally ran to catch up with her after they'd met the other night, just so he could give her his phone number, and who had figured she was trans and was 100% not bothered by that - YAY!) and my main reaction was: "Sweet!" And I want to know how it goes. :-)
Part of me is, of course, scanning for insecurities. 'Cause I know I get anxious (sometimes) when she likes Other People a lot. And she does like this guy quite a bit, or so she says (and why would she say so if she didn't). So we'll see how this plays out, but so-far, I'm feeling quite alright about it. :-)

Anyway. Time to sleep. Muffin-making, dip-making, and library-book-returning are to happen tomorrow morning.

- Amazon. :-)
amazon_syren: (Default)
( Dec. 2nd, 2008 08:25 pm)
Soooooooooo... I haven't accomplished a whole hell of a lot today, but I've accomplished some stuff. Hurrah.

I sent my resume off to POWER, and also to one of my agencies (one who I got a message from, asking if I happen to be looking for work).

I got my compost the hell out of my kitchen (although the flowers still need to go).

I got the ends tied off on my would-be flogger. (Sometimes I wonder why I don't just get one of those mop-head from the grocery store... It'd be the same thing, basically. ;-)

I picked up milk and soymilk (and coffee-yoghurt, which is what I've eaten for dinner today -- hahaha. So healthy).

I uploaded portfolio pictures to my facebook account. Which, I realize, I don't actually use all that much. But I figure that since I've got the thing (it does, occasionally, prove handy), I may as well use it to host pictures and such-like.

I mailed my letters to Paul and my grandmother. (Paul's letter included - and was sent to provide - a cheque for his half of the paltry sum we made selling our <*cough*>my<*cough*> antique furniture after the split).

I took a peak at the website of a local singing teacher (not a very useful one -- if you have a website, have a freaking contact-us email. I mean, *really*. Why bother otherwise? Anyway, I digress) and at one of the tribal fusion teachers in town (Lesley -- she runs Shakti Fusion bellydance and also teaches yoga).

So, while the dishes are (still) not done, I did get some stuff accomplished.

Anyway. Around 4:30, it was starting to get dark, I hadn't turned on any lights yet, and I realized that I was feeling really mopey.
I decided that I had to get out of the house. (Note: Sara and I both get like this, apparently, albeit for slightly different reasons. But either way, we may find ourself moping together one of these days, at which point I will have to take it upon myself to say "you wanna go for a walk and get some fresh air?" or something, as it might allow us to shake off the "cooped up with too much and/or not enough to do" feeling and feel better again).
Anyway. What *I* did was this:

I went and picked up my groceries (sadly, there was no steel wool at the Hartmann's, but otherwise things went fine) and then I went and sat in the Umi Cafe for about three hours, nursed a coffee, scribbled a couple of sentences (brain going too fast for the rest of me, at this point - oh well) in a "journalling" kind of way, chatted with Sherry (the new gal working at Umi -- I've known her since we were both very little girls. She went to my mom's church back when it was my church, too), and - for the most part - read my book.

The book is The New Topping Book, which I am quite enjoying. :-) It brings stuff up that, in turn, let me get inside my own head, if you will. Very handy that way. (I kinda want to read its counterpart - The New Bottoming Book - as well).

Anyway. With that in mind, I think I'll read a little more and maybe send a letter to my Young Lady. :-)

- Amazon. :-)
I just got an email from my ex-husband.

That was… unexpected.

I was a little apprehensive in opening it, but it turned out to be just an update.

And an apology, unexpectedly enough.

He wanted to let me know that he’s been doing a lot of work on himself over the past few months (YAY!) and that he’s seeing someone new (YAY!) who – get this – was very up-front about wanting an open relationship.
Which he decided to try and deal with because it occurred to him that there was a pattern here.

So good for him! :-D

He says he’s been working a lot on dismantling his Ego of Doom (thank all the gods!!!) and that he’s starting to realize how difficult it must have been for me to live with him the way he was.

He is happy – or happier – (YAY!) and he hasn’t suggested getting together, let alone getting *back* together (YAY), and so, over all, I came out of reading that email feeling…

Happy. Less nervous.

I feel really proud of him for kicking his own ass and working on himself like this, and I hope he keeps up with it.

And I feel really happy that he’s found this new lady – a lady who, no less, was able to kick him in the head and make him recognize one of his own patterns.

This is really good. :-)

And I feel a bit more like I can share a little of my own happiness and progress and so-on with him, now that I know he can (probably) deal with hearing about it. :-)

I like this turn of events. :-)

Off to return safety-pins to fabric land, snag a couple of rubber snakes from the dollar store (otherwise, oh dear, I’ll be doing, like, papier machée at, like, midnight or something) and otherwise finish my Fabulous Costume. :-)

- Amazon.


amazon_syren: (Default)


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags