Reguarding Stepford Wifery

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Well, my friend Ami_b had written an article in her lj about wedding plans, a coworker who is pregnant, her future family, and a few other things. She title the entry "Stepford Wifery" and posed the question, "What kind of wife do you have to be to avoid being a Stepford Wife?".

So this is my thought on Stepford Wifery.

First of all, what is Stepford Wifery? Is it the enjoyment of domestic arts? (And they are arts -- take it from this Kitchen Witch, cooking, sewing, these are art and magic, not chores to be avoided. Cleaning, on the other hand... that I'm not so sure about).
Or is Stepford Wifery the enjoyment of, and possibly obsession with, these arts (even cleaning) at the expense of everything else?

I think it's option B.

I mean, clearly, I'm nuts about domesticity. I cook, and invent my own recipes; I sew and design my own clothes (periodically).
I grow my own food (at least, that's the idea. Whether I'll actually get food out of this garden remains to be seen), I compost. (Periodically I vacuum and run the dishwasher).

I delight in planning dinner parties for religious feasts and birthday celebrations. (I'm planning my Sweety's birthday dinner right now, actually).

I have been looking forward to marriage and motherhood for the entirety of my existence. I've wanted to be a mom ever since I learned how to carry a doll. I've wanted to be a wife ever since I found out about True Love (thank you, parents, for showing me early on. ;-)

When I was in kindergarten, my list of what I want to be when I grow up included: Mommy, seamstress (although I didn't know the word for it), baker, and teacher.
My what I want to be when I grow up list now includes: Mommy, fashion designer, restauranteur, and professor.
How things have changed. ;-)

Someone might look at this list of desires and see "stepford wife" written all over it, simply because I take delight in these things.

However, there is time in my life to visit friends, to (sometimes) go to concerts or movies. My career path is leading me down the wonderful road to wisdom (I hope) and to the imparting of knowledge to other people. Which I think is an awesome calling. :-)

I think that, to be the kind of wife that *is* a Stepford Wife, one must... fairly brainless, really. Ami is in no danger of falling into Stepford Wifery, for the simple reason that she thinks too much. :-)
Stepford Wifery involves a kind of vacuous oneness with the vacuum while the pre-fab perogies boil over on the stove, and the kids watch their 18th hour of TV in one day.

But, to do Domestic, even if *all* you're doing is Domestic, and to think about what you're doing... I don't think that's Stepford Wifery. Honestly, to get religious on you, I think that's a thurough embracing of Hearth-Guardianship that comes with a huge responsability and a little touch of Godhead at the same time. :-)

That being said, when my Mom was being Hearth Guardian and my dad was working in Halifax and only coming home on weekends, she was bored out of her skull with only two todlers to talk to. I'm a little worried that I will feel the same when I'm at home with my kids. ;-)

Anywhoo. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. :-)

- Nam'ara,
- Amazon. :-)