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So, I'm feeling a little down.
It's kind of odd.
See.
I have two jobs.
Neither of them are full-time, but they do add up when you put them together.
I have been yacking away, over the past couple of days, about stuff that I want. Perfume. Books. (Well, more that I've been thinking about the books -- I ordered $200 worth of books, or close to it, in the last week). Stuff like that.
Yet I have to watch out for 'what I want' (yeah, yeah, welcome to the world of being a grown-up, I know. I kvetching), because I have to make sure "what we need" is covered, first.
Unfortunately, "what I want" and "what I (as opposed to we) need" sometimes overlap.
For example, I *want* a copy of "Feminist Poetics of the Sacred". It's a cool book.
It's also a book I need for my thesis research, thus it's also "something I need".
So...
My discontent has a number of levels.
Part of it is that, for reasons I can't even fathom, I feel like I'm not contributing enough to the house.
Why this is, I can't imagine (unless it's because I'm home for long hours during the evening and I'm not spending that time (A) cleaning, or (B) earning income).
See, Paul contributes a set amount every month to the house-hold expenses. Given that he's also got a heap of student debt (which is, technically, also one of our house-hold expenses), I know how much he could use that set-amount to help get rid of said debt.
However, the contribution he makes covers this: the mortgage (a relatively small mortgage, given that it's held by my Mom, not by a bank). It also covers part of the Rogers bill.
But that's it.
And I know he can't contribute more.
And I know that (thank the gods) our tenant's monthly rent covers the rest of the Rogers bill, plus the phone, and the condo fees. (I think).
This leaves... Property taxes and hydro (ye gods) and groceries for me.
Which isn't *much* more than the ammount that Paul contributes, so it shouldn't be that big a deal for me.
But I know damn well that I have a smaller monthly income (and tuition fees that are exactly the same) than he does. (Plus I do most (though not quite all) of the cooking and the cleaning -- in so far as we clean at all. ;-)
So...
(A) Why the hell do I feel like I'm not contributing enough?
AND
(B) Why is it that, even on a smaller income, I can pay my debts off every month, while his continue to rise?
Even when I take into consideration the fact that this is *our* finances we're talking about, rather than "his" and "mine", and even though I know why his debts were so high in the first place.
It just seems way out of balance.
<*sigh*>
So that's about where my head is right now, as I sit in the squallor that is my house.
Heh. It doesn't help that I have a whole bunch of Things to Do (including "write thesis" and "de-clutter house, room by room") that feed off each-other in a vicious loop.
If I work on one, it means that I'm *not* working on the other.
Grrr...
I feel like I'm in over my head. That's what I feel like.
<*sigh*>
Anyway.
Those are my lamentations.
On the plus side: I did succeed in arranging a trade on BPAL-Canada (lj-community). The lady in question is getting "Zombi" and, in exchange, I'm getting "Bordello". Yay! :-D All for the price of shipping. (Wish I knew what that was...).
So, some time before Midnight tonight, I need to pop down the open-til-midnight post-office counter on Bank@HuntClub and send that off to Waterloo (along with numerous thank-you cards for various shower gifts) and my few remaining unsent invitations. :-)
- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)
It's kind of odd.
See.
I have two jobs.
Neither of them are full-time, but they do add up when you put them together.
I have been yacking away, over the past couple of days, about stuff that I want. Perfume. Books. (Well, more that I've been thinking about the books -- I ordered $200 worth of books, or close to it, in the last week). Stuff like that.
Yet I have to watch out for 'what I want' (yeah, yeah, welcome to the world of being a grown-up, I know. I kvetching), because I have to make sure "what we need" is covered, first.
Unfortunately, "what I want" and "what I (as opposed to we) need" sometimes overlap.
For example, I *want* a copy of "Feminist Poetics of the Sacred". It's a cool book.
It's also a book I need for my thesis research, thus it's also "something I need".
So...
My discontent has a number of levels.
Part of it is that, for reasons I can't even fathom, I feel like I'm not contributing enough to the house.
Why this is, I can't imagine (unless it's because I'm home for long hours during the evening and I'm not spending that time (A) cleaning, or (B) earning income).
See, Paul contributes a set amount every month to the house-hold expenses. Given that he's also got a heap of student debt (which is, technically, also one of our house-hold expenses), I know how much he could use that set-amount to help get rid of said debt.
However, the contribution he makes covers this: the mortgage (a relatively small mortgage, given that it's held by my Mom, not by a bank). It also covers part of the Rogers bill.
But that's it.
And I know he can't contribute more.
And I know that (thank the gods) our tenant's monthly rent covers the rest of the Rogers bill, plus the phone, and the condo fees. (I think).
This leaves... Property taxes and hydro (ye gods) and groceries for me.
Which isn't *much* more than the ammount that Paul contributes, so it shouldn't be that big a deal for me.
But I know damn well that I have a smaller monthly income (and tuition fees that are exactly the same) than he does. (Plus I do most (though not quite all) of the cooking and the cleaning -- in so far as we clean at all. ;-)
So...
(A) Why the hell do I feel like I'm not contributing enough?
AND
(B) Why is it that, even on a smaller income, I can pay my debts off every month, while his continue to rise?
Even when I take into consideration the fact that this is *our* finances we're talking about, rather than "his" and "mine", and even though I know why his debts were so high in the first place.
It just seems way out of balance.
<*sigh*>
So that's about where my head is right now, as I sit in the squallor that is my house.
Heh. It doesn't help that I have a whole bunch of Things to Do (including "write thesis" and "de-clutter house, room by room") that feed off each-other in a vicious loop.
If I work on one, it means that I'm *not* working on the other.
Grrr...
I feel like I'm in over my head. That's what I feel like.
<*sigh*>
Anyway.
Those are my lamentations.
On the plus side: I did succeed in arranging a trade on BPAL-Canada (lj-community). The lady in question is getting "Zombi" and, in exchange, I'm getting "Bordello". Yay! :-D All for the price of shipping. (Wish I knew what that was...).
So, some time before Midnight tonight, I need to pop down the open-til-midnight post-office counter on Bank@HuntClub and send that off to Waterloo (along with numerous thank-you cards for various shower gifts) and my few remaining unsent invitations. :-)
- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)
