(no subject)

Linked by Namaah Darling:

And in the great gay marriage debate, I keep coming back to this feeling that in the end this whole clusterfuck national debate on my humanity is really a secret, subconscious referendum on whether women can ever be adults, can ever be unescorted, can ever look like something that wasn't designed for the male gaze, can ever possess their own desire. It is also, it seems for many people, a referendum on whether masculinity can exist without the perpetual female child present to confirm its existence.

On womanhood, queerness, gendered adulthood, and infantalization. It's a really good post. Go read. :-)


AND

From Cathrynne M. Valente:
Have I Ever Told You About My Love/Hate Relationship With Confessional Poetry?
About the emotional core at the heart of really good writing.


My Sara is coming home in a couple of HOURS!!! :-D
<*glee!*>

My bathroom is clean and my floors are vacuumed. The apartment is not *tidy* (by any stretch of the imagination), but it is, at least, clean. Which makes a big difference in my world. :-)

Also: I have burned a lot of insence (2 cones of dragons blood, one cone and one stick of myrrh, and one stick of amber-and-something-or-other. So the place smells nice, too. :-)
YAY! Cleaning! (Well, sort of. ;-)


- TTFN,
- Amazon.

In Which I Am Snappish and Pissed Off

“I don’t mean to be offensive, but…”

This drives me up the wall because, seriously? If you *actually* believed that what you’re about to say is going to be “offensive” – which is anything from slightly rude or mildly intrusive (such as: “How tall *are* you, anyway?”) to outright hurtful or blatantly hateful (“So… you’re really a *guy*, right?”) – and you *actually* didn’t want to cause your listener discomfort or pain… you probably wouldn’t open your mouth to say it, now would you?

I mean…

Isn’t it just a way of pre-emptively silencing someone?

A way of saying “Satisfying my curiosity and/or putting you ‘in your place’ in some way is more important to me than whether or not you feel comfortable around me – oh, but if you *do* feel uncomfortable because of my intrusive comments/questions (etc), I don’t want to hear about it and will dismiss you as Being Unreasonable (or too sensitive, or whatever) if you call my on my crap”.


Someone said this to me this morning, and it just kind of clicked about exactly what that means. :-P