Raising Kids and Razing Stereotypes

Tra-Li, Tra-La! :-)

I had a marvelous evening out last night with the fabulous Ami_B! :-D There were chocolate martinis (well, chocolate martini, anyway) and cider, and stuffed mushrooms, and other yummy things, but! More importantly, there was chatter. And venting. And discussion of feminist rhetoric. :-D

This is why I love going out with Ami. The conversation just ranges all over the place. :-D

Anyway. A number of things came up, and one of them was "Talking to your Kids About Sex/uality".

See, my husband and I (although, granted, mostly I) have a growing collection of sexually explicit books. Most of these are gay-girl-porn of one sort or another, but there's also The Joy of Sex and my Dad's old book on sensual massage (something with-which I spent an educational few hours during my late teens, after I'd found it on his office shelf). Our Bodies, Ourselves might also qualify, but I'm not sure.

( Kids and Sexuality )

See, I worry that my kids are going to grow up with this feeling that Sex is Bad (Naughty? Dirty? Nasty? All those terms that show up in freaking pop music?) or that there is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to do sex (not in terms of consensual/non-consensual, but in terms of how you breath, how long the guy's supposed to stay hard, whether or not the gal gets an orgasm, whose on top, etc, etc). And I'd like to find out about sexuality from sources that aren't going to screw things up too badly. :-)

Such as this one. :-)


Anyway.
So, there was that.


Something else I'd like to discuss, briefly (haha) is the idea of political-lesbianism and radical-separatist-feminism.

See, there's something that gets on my nerves when I'm reading stuff like 'Power Surge', or 'Women Hating', or 'Sex, Power, and Pleasure' or whatever. It's the idea that women who are Really committed to feminism are gay -- by choice.
Which strikes me as incredibly dumb.

( Choosing What You Sleep With, For Reasons of Politics... )

Anyway, why I bring this up is sort of as a response to a comment Ami made regarding this post.

Warning: TMI:
See, as a woman who willingly engages in het sex, I have to say that up until two, or *maybe* three months ago (so definitely after I married my husband), penetrative sex hurt like a mother-fucker. 'Good' penetrative sex was sex wherein the pleasue managed to counter-act *most* of the pain. But the pain was still a constant. Now, understand, if it was really hurting, I could say 'ow, that hurts' and my husband would stop[3].

So... See, all the stuff brought up in the article I linked to in the above-linked post, about the male privilige of ignorance and irresposibility, I can wrap my head around the concept of 'het sex = rape' in the sense that men are socially conditioned from birth to want sex, to go after sex, and to understand that "sometimes you just can't stop", and women are socially conditioned from birth to deny their own desire for sex, to provide sex to men (eventually, after playing 'hard to get'), and to be 'nice girls' and 'not make a scene'.
Now, as a woman, I know it is *damn* hard to go against my social programming, even when I *know* that this programming is *so* not in my best interests. It is, presumably, that much harder for a guy to go against his social programming when that programming comes with a hell of a lot of privilige attached. (None the less, I think the effor should be made).

( 'Het Sex = Rape' and Other Stories )

See? No help what-so-ever.

So. I figured I'd go forth and bring this stuff up.

I have to go to work now, but there you have it.


- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)




[1] Haha. This from the same woman who expressed her intence displeasure and disappointment -- if I failed to finish my freaking spaghetti. Practice what you preach, mom...

[2] I found her tone to be very condescending. Like she was expecting the women who 'actually' worked as bunnies at the playboy clubs to be stupid. Even as the whole playboy culture of 'women can be sexualized, but they can't be actually sexual' bugged the hell out of me, so did her "I'm clearly so much better/smarter/etc than all of you who actually consider this a real job". I mean how exactly is that having your sister's back? So, yes, that pissed me off.

[3] None the less, my husband is also the guy who, up until I had a very painful chat with him in the wee, small hours of the morning, a few months before our wedding, would litterally *force* his hand between my legs if he felt like groping my cunt. Even though I'd told him pleanty of times that I didn't like him doing that.

[4] I know his name. I'm not saying it because I can also wrap my head around the idea that he, personally, doesn't deserves to be remembered, only his stupid-assed, hateful actions and why they were wrong.

Further to this morning's post about sex and raising kids:

Yay for Planned Parenthood!

A handy list of how to talk about sex with your kids. Hurrah! :-D

Experimental Chicken Loaf

So, I did another kitchen experiment tonight in terms of dinner. Whee! :-D
Miraculously, it worked. :-)

As such, I present the recipe (largely for the sake of recording it for posterity):

So. (Note: The cup-and-spoon measurements are guesses as I just eye-balled the entire thing... Yeah, huge shock, I know. ;-)


Experimental Chicken Loaf

1 lb (or so) ground chicken, thawed
2-3 chicken livers, chopped/mashed (optional)
2 eggs, beaten
1 can condensed cream-of-brocolli soup (would probably work with cream of asperagus, too) -- that has been whisked in with the eggs until it's fairly smooth.
+
1/2C semi-wet rolled oats. (slightly mushy, but *way* dryer than poridge)
1 tsp dried basil
2 tsp minced garlic (or more, if you like)
1/4 tsp black pepper

Mix everything together in a bowl until well blended.

Pour mixture into a buttered loaf pan
Sprinkle with corn flakes
Sprinkle with romano goat cheese (or parmesan cheese)

Bake at 400F for 2 hours (seriously, otehrwise it's a bit soupy still).

Serve hot, goes well with garlic bread (but, then, what doesn't? :-)


Note: For a veggie version: Use TVP in lieu of the chicken (I'm not sure how the ratios work out, but there's probably some sort of conversion chart on, like, the SoSoya website or something), and use chopped mushrooms in lieu of the optional chicken livers.


- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)

Compost Bin Liners (OR: My Husband is a Genius)

So, Paul and I have been talking about our compost bucket.

Yes, you read that correctly. :-)

See, right now we're using a big old 4L plastic ice-cream bucket as our sink-side compost bin.
Which is great, except that it gets pretty gross every now and then.

So. Paul had this absolutely brilliant idea (which I will write down and mail to us just to make sure, because it's really *that* genius!) of making compost-bucket liners.

Basically, you take a ~4L galvanized steel bucket (or an ice-cream tub, although a receptical that tapers at the bottom would make the liners easier to stack.

Anyway.

Basically, I would be taking this bucket and making paper-mache liners (~4 sheets thick w/ a double-thickness bottom, say) -- that way, the bucket itself would stay fairly clean and the liners would be totally biodegradeable *and* would contribute Dry Stuff to the compost itself, thus helping to keep it balanced and non-stinky. :-D

Isn't he brilliant??? :-D