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Let it be known to one and all (and all and one) that I am annoyed with the Internet.
(Shocking, I know. ;-)
'Why?' I hear you ask.
Because of this:
I put in searches for "Dominant Women Speak" and I end up getting results like "how to speak to dominant women so that they'll let you control them". I add BDSM to the search to narrow it down, and I end up with stuff about submissive women looking to find men to dominate them.
What the hell???
I rather foolishly feel like I'm being deliberately misunderstood by Google. (Which I realize is dumb, but there it is. My frustration: Let me show it to you).
<*head-shakey*>
And now, a similarly-themed rant (ish) about Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns:
See, on the whole, I quite like this book. It's written in a way that says "Let's all go have fun". Which is nice. :-)
And the authors do recognize that switches, dommes, sub-men, poly-people and people in same-sex relationships do exist.
But the book is written from the perspective of m-dom & w-sub.
Now, I can totally understand why one would write a book from the perspective that one understands best.
However:
Given that they got guest-writers to contribute chapters on gags and single-lash whips, and given that they point out in their book that the biggest group within the BDSM scene (according to them, anyway) is submissive men, I think they could have had a femdomme guest-author contribute a chapter (or two, or three) on being a woman-on-top, how to use a strap-on (maybe?), and on scene-suggestions wherein there is a man on the bottom, including guy-specific bondage and torture (c&b, 'forced cross-dressing' (whatever), how to modify a 'rope dress' to suit a guy, etc). It would still be rife with heteronormative assumptions, but at least it would present examples of both[1] sexes on top and both sexes on the bottom, and thus allow for some mixing and matching of ideas from the different chapters.
Similarly, I think it would have been extremely easy to write most (if not all) of the book using gender-alternating and/or gender-neutral language and reserve the "specific to the authors' relationship" gender set-up for anecdotal examples (which could be interspersed with *other* people's anecdotal examples which showed alternatives to the authors' perspective).
The rest of the book is quite delightful and useful, but that particular aspect of it was... really irritating and a tad on the alienating side. Given that it could have been so easily avoided, I have to admit to a certain disappointment on that front. Otherwise, though, it's a good piece of work. :-)
In other news: Paul has got my mp3 player working. Yay! :-) So now I can listen to music on the bus or on long car trips or whatever. :-) Yay! :-)
As for getting things done today:
Groceries and editing still need to be done, but:
Laundry is on its second load (which will be going in the dryer, shortly).
Bath has been had and enjoyed. :-) (I feel nice and clean now[2]. :-)
Also: I was feeling brave today (dunno why, but I was) so I experimented with the hot wax again. This time I used coloured, scented parafin, which melts at a much higher temperature than does the unscented, white stuff.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, yeah. Boy, does it ever. :-)
The red, cranberry-scented stuff[3] was hot enough to actually burn (although not very much - not nearly as bad as, say, spilling newly-made tea on your hand, for example). I cooled my skin down, using cold water, when it started edging into 'ow' territory. (I'm careful about this stuff - I have no marks on me to show what I've been doing, which makes me happy).
The paler colours were still hotter than white, but not by a whole lot.
I'm guessing that, were I to experiment in, like, creating designs in different colours on someone's back (or on, say, my leg or arm - which is significantly more likely at this point), I'd risk causing far less (potential) damage if I stuck with lighter colours (hehe. Like easter eggs). :-)
Perhaps next time I go to Pagan Brunch (not tomorrow, as I'm doing Slasher's brunch instead), I can swing by the Wix (or whatever that place is) in St. Laurent mall, and get some uncented, coloured votive candles. :-) The could work out nicely. :-)
Anyway. Paul's off to Europe in just under two weeks, so I've got some planning to do (in terms of how I'm going to keep myself busy while he's gone) before that time. :-) I know I'm going to re-dye my hair (it will have been about two months since the last one by that point, so about the right time to do it. ;-) And, beyond that... Let's just say I'm getting ideas. :-)
A Question: I know there's an hors d'oeuvre that consists of very fine ham wrapped around bits of honey-dew melon. Does anyone think this would work with smoked salmon rather than proscuto(sp)? Perhaps with cantaloupe instead of honey-dew? :-)
- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)
[1] I know, I know, I know.
[2] The thing about a good long soak in scented, oiled, hot water is that it gets a *lot* of dead skin loose. A quick shower with a body-scrub tends to result in super-smooth skin after that. :-) I like it. :-)
[3] I've heard that black wax burns hottest, and red is second only to black - probably because of the intensity of the colour. More dye used = more hardeners needed = higher melting temperature.
(Shocking, I know. ;-)
'Why?' I hear you ask.
Because of this:
I put in searches for "Dominant Women Speak" and I end up getting results like "how to speak to dominant women so that they'll let you control them". I add BDSM to the search to narrow it down, and I end up with stuff about submissive women looking to find men to dominate them.
What the hell???
I rather foolishly feel like I'm being deliberately misunderstood by Google. (Which I realize is dumb, but there it is. My frustration: Let me show it to you).
<*head-shakey*>
And now, a similarly-themed rant (ish) about Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns:
See, on the whole, I quite like this book. It's written in a way that says "Let's all go have fun". Which is nice. :-)
And the authors do recognize that switches, dommes, sub-men, poly-people and people in same-sex relationships do exist.
But the book is written from the perspective of m-dom & w-sub.
Now, I can totally understand why one would write a book from the perspective that one understands best.
However:
Given that they got guest-writers to contribute chapters on gags and single-lash whips, and given that they point out in their book that the biggest group within the BDSM scene (according to them, anyway) is submissive men, I think they could have had a femdomme guest-author contribute a chapter (or two, or three) on being a woman-on-top, how to use a strap-on (maybe?), and on scene-suggestions wherein there is a man on the bottom, including guy-specific bondage and torture (c&b, 'forced cross-dressing' (whatever), how to modify a 'rope dress' to suit a guy, etc). It would still be rife with heteronormative assumptions, but at least it would present examples of both[1] sexes on top and both sexes on the bottom, and thus allow for some mixing and matching of ideas from the different chapters.
Similarly, I think it would have been extremely easy to write most (if not all) of the book using gender-alternating and/or gender-neutral language and reserve the "specific to the authors' relationship" gender set-up for anecdotal examples (which could be interspersed with *other* people's anecdotal examples which showed alternatives to the authors' perspective).
The rest of the book is quite delightful and useful, but that particular aspect of it was... really irritating and a tad on the alienating side. Given that it could have been so easily avoided, I have to admit to a certain disappointment on that front. Otherwise, though, it's a good piece of work. :-)
In other news: Paul has got my mp3 player working. Yay! :-) So now I can listen to music on the bus or on long car trips or whatever. :-) Yay! :-)
As for getting things done today:
Groceries and editing still need to be done, but:
Laundry is on its second load (which will be going in the dryer, shortly).
Bath has been had and enjoyed. :-) (I feel nice and clean now[2]. :-)
Also: I was feeling brave today (dunno why, but I was) so I experimented with the hot wax again. This time I used coloured, scented parafin, which melts at a much higher temperature than does the unscented, white stuff.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, yeah. Boy, does it ever. :-)
The red, cranberry-scented stuff[3] was hot enough to actually burn (although not very much - not nearly as bad as, say, spilling newly-made tea on your hand, for example). I cooled my skin down, using cold water, when it started edging into 'ow' territory. (I'm careful about this stuff - I have no marks on me to show what I've been doing, which makes me happy).
The paler colours were still hotter than white, but not by a whole lot.
I'm guessing that, were I to experiment in, like, creating designs in different colours on someone's back (or on, say, my leg or arm - which is significantly more likely at this point), I'd risk causing far less (potential) damage if I stuck with lighter colours (hehe. Like easter eggs). :-)
Perhaps next time I go to Pagan Brunch (not tomorrow, as I'm doing Slasher's brunch instead), I can swing by the Wix (or whatever that place is) in St. Laurent mall, and get some uncented, coloured votive candles. :-) The could work out nicely. :-)
Anyway. Paul's off to Europe in just under two weeks, so I've got some planning to do (in terms of how I'm going to keep myself busy while he's gone) before that time. :-) I know I'm going to re-dye my hair (it will have been about two months since the last one by that point, so about the right time to do it. ;-) And, beyond that... Let's just say I'm getting ideas. :-)
A Question: I know there's an hors d'oeuvre that consists of very fine ham wrapped around bits of honey-dew melon. Does anyone think this would work with smoked salmon rather than proscuto(sp)? Perhaps with cantaloupe instead of honey-dew? :-)
- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)
[1] I know, I know, I know.
[2] The thing about a good long soak in scented, oiled, hot water is that it gets a *lot* of dead skin loose. A quick shower with a body-scrub tends to result in super-smooth skin after that. :-) I like it. :-)
[3] I've heard that black wax burns hottest, and red is second only to black - probably because of the intensity of the colour. More dye used = more hardeners needed = higher melting temperature.
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