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Here! Have a very distressing link about the sex-trafficking of aboriginal women and girls in Canada.
This is really fucking horrifying, just FYI.
This is really fucking horrifying, just FYI.
First, a Cute Picture.
I believe it's called "Jesus Loves the Little Goths". Thoughts? Commentary?
Via Naamah_Darling:
One more reason why the US "health care" system is really, really, really fucked up. This will make you really freaking mad. Note: Deals with "rape as a pre-existing condition" and, as such, may be triggering for you.
From Corey Doctorow:
Now, you all know I'm all for hiring sex workers[1]. But was this really the right time and place for a corporation to shout "lapdances for all"?
Yahoo hires lap-dancers to entertain at its open, inclusive Hack Day event. 'Cause all the guys are Obviously Het and all the gals are Obviously Non-Existent. Wonderful. :-P
From FWD/Forward:
< ahref="http://disabledfeminists.com/2009/10/21/the-negative-side-of-positive-thinking/">The Negative Side of Possitive Thinking. I linked (I think) to a similar post by Naamah_Darling a few days ago[3], but this sums it up really nicely, too.
From Geek Feminism:
Yesterday was Ursula K LeGuin's 80th Birthday! Have we mentioned that she's frikken awesome? :-D
Note: Amazon would like to read her latest book, Lavinia. I think the title character sounds cool. ;-)
Related Link: Breaking Into the Spell - an interview with Ursula K LeGuin. :-)
From Caveat Lector:
The sickening grunch -- About what it *feels like* to get cat-called (especially unexpectedly).
Department of Random:
Scatter the Seeds and Stand Back -- On growing amaranth from seed. Apparently it's really easy to thresh (albeit winnowing is a bit of a pain 'cause the grain is really, really light).
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
[1] Although I don't know how strippers get hired in Taiwan or how voluntary their employment may be, as this varies not only from country to country, but from person to person.
I don't know how many of those particular gals think about their jobs in terms like "Sweet! I get to make a mint doing something I enjoy!" vs how many of them are doing the work because their families sold them off to pay the rent[2].
[2] Which may or may not happen in Taiwan, but does happen in, for example, Thailand and Laos.
[3] LJ only.
I believe it's called "Jesus Loves the Little Goths". Thoughts? Commentary?
Via Naamah_Darling:
One more reason why the US "health care" system is really, really, really fucked up. This will make you really freaking mad. Note: Deals with "rape as a pre-existing condition" and, as such, may be triggering for you.
From Corey Doctorow:
Now, you all know I'm all for hiring sex workers[1]. But was this really the right time and place for a corporation to shout "lapdances for all"?
Yahoo hires lap-dancers to entertain at its open, inclusive Hack Day event. 'Cause all the guys are Obviously Het and all the gals are Obviously Non-Existent. Wonderful. :-P
From FWD/Forward:
< ahref="http://disabledfeminists.com/2009/10/21/the-negative-side-of-positive-thinking/">The Negative Side of Possitive Thinking. I linked (I think) to a similar post by Naamah_Darling a few days ago[3], but this sums it up really nicely, too.
From Geek Feminism:
Yesterday was Ursula K LeGuin's 80th Birthday! Have we mentioned that she's frikken awesome? :-D
Note: Amazon would like to read her latest book, Lavinia. I think the title character sounds cool. ;-)
Related Link: Breaking Into the Spell - an interview with Ursula K LeGuin. :-)
From Caveat Lector:
The sickening grunch -- About what it *feels like* to get cat-called (especially unexpectedly).
Department of Random:
Scatter the Seeds and Stand Back -- On growing amaranth from seed. Apparently it's really easy to thresh (albeit winnowing is a bit of a pain 'cause the grain is really, really light).
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
[1] Although I don't know how strippers get hired in Taiwan or how voluntary their employment may be, as this varies not only from country to country, but from person to person.
I don't know how many of those particular gals think about their jobs in terms like "Sweet! I get to make a mint doing something I enjoy!" vs how many of them are doing the work because their families sold them off to pay the rent[2].
[2] Which may or may not happen in Taiwan, but does happen in, for example, Thailand and Laos.
[3] LJ only.
Remember how pissed off I was (still am) about my not being able to donate blood? Well, no surprises here, but I'm not the only one (from Shakesville).
Also from Shakesville:
Her Reasons Are Not Yours -- On how The Public is reacting to the Roman Polanski thing.
AND
On the RCC's continuing lack of any willingness to take responsibility for ordaining, protecting and enabling pedophiles. Goody.
AND
After the Red Pill -- On Being a Feminist.
From Pandagon:
Note to conservatives: thanks, but your help is not needed -- More on RP, The Public, and "Who's Side Are You On".
From What Tami Said:
Marginalized folks shouldn't always have to be "the bigger persons". No kidding. Go read.
From The Angry Black Woman:
Dear Straight Cisgender People Who Are Showing Out -- Contains a variety of handy links plus a brief discussion on what "Ally" actually means.
From The Nation:
The Crusade Against Sex Trafficking -- On how sex trafficing[1] tends to get painted in an overly simplistic way.
From Feministe:
Puzzle Activity Time! -- More on RP. I keep hoping that people reading about this case are, somewhere in their heads, going "Hey... Really powerful, wealthy, adult dude... Thinks he can skip justice. That's not right!" We can dream. Personally, I'm with Idioglossia and wondering why the hell half of hollywood-and-beyond (Tilda?? Seriously??) is up in arms on his behalf. :-\
AND
Getting Over It -- About having been raped at the age of thirteen, and what seeing all this coverage and public reaction over the RP case is like.
Exerpt:
What does rape do to you? Afterward? It changed me; there is before and after. Before, a child, playing with Barbies, looking sideways at boys, wondering. After, confusion. Depression. A litany of fuck-ups and fuck-its, whatevers, mistakes, trusting no one, least of all myself.
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
[1] Note: I don't know if this article is looking at all sex work as sex trafficing. Haven't read it. Did get a good review of it from the folks at Shakesville, though, and the excerpt they posted seemed to be talking sense. So I figured I'd toss it up here for people to see.
Also from Shakesville:
Her Reasons Are Not Yours -- On how The Public is reacting to the Roman Polanski thing.
AND
On the RCC's continuing lack of any willingness to take responsibility for ordaining, protecting and enabling pedophiles. Goody.
AND
After the Red Pill -- On Being a Feminist.
From Pandagon:
Note to conservatives: thanks, but your help is not needed -- More on RP, The Public, and "Who's Side Are You On".
From What Tami Said:
Marginalized folks shouldn't always have to be "the bigger persons". No kidding. Go read.
From The Angry Black Woman:
Dear Straight Cisgender People Who Are Showing Out -- Contains a variety of handy links plus a brief discussion on what "Ally" actually means.
From The Nation:
The Crusade Against Sex Trafficking -- On how sex trafficing[1] tends to get painted in an overly simplistic way.
From Feministe:
Puzzle Activity Time! -- More on RP. I keep hoping that people reading about this case are, somewhere in their heads, going "Hey... Really powerful, wealthy, adult dude... Thinks he can skip justice. That's not right!" We can dream. Personally, I'm with Idioglossia and wondering why the hell half of hollywood-and-beyond (Tilda?? Seriously??) is up in arms on his behalf. :-\
AND
Getting Over It -- About having been raped at the age of thirteen, and what seeing all this coverage and public reaction over the RP case is like.
Exerpt:
What does rape do to you? Afterward? It changed me; there is before and after. Before, a child, playing with Barbies, looking sideways at boys, wondering. After, confusion. Depression. A litany of fuck-ups and fuck-its, whatevers, mistakes, trusting no one, least of all myself.
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
[1] Note: I don't know if this article is looking at all sex work as sex trafficing. Haven't read it. Did get a good review of it from the folks at Shakesville, though, and the excerpt they posted seemed to be talking sense. So I figured I'd toss it up here for people to see.
From Carleton U's Women In Science & Engineering (WISE):
Carleton Offers a Workshop on Preventing Dating Violence -- Aimed at Guys.
From Feministing:
Ask Professor Foxy: How Do I Handle My Boyfriend's Sex Work? On what to do when you're sex-possitive, but know that your partner's job is hurting/scaring them.
From Shakesville:
Comic Fail -- On this morning's XKCD. Which was, I think, absolutely perfect. Right up until the last panel. :-P
From Pandagon:
And that’s why they invented the word 'systemic' -- On racism and the US healthcare "debate".
AND
Searching for Whiteopia (A Book Review) -- On living in a self-segregated bubble. These places sound an awful lot like Barhaven, Orleans and Kanata. "Lego Land", as Lenny calls it.
And now on to the really awful stuff (where we talk about other systemic things that suck):
From Questioning Transphobia:
Cis parolee sought in murder of woman. On the way the media talks about murdered trans women in ways that un-person them as well as un-gender them. This is systemic. Pay attention to this.
From Tiger Beatdown:
"I found two [headlines pertaining to MacKenzie Phillips] that were not [fucked up]! one was on MTV news and it read: “Mackenzie Phillips Claims Her Father Raped, Drugged Her.” one was on E! and it read, “Mackenzie Phillips: I Was Raped By My Father.” Now! you could find some problems with these headlines! BUT, every other source was like “Mackenzie Phillips Confesses Sex Affair With Dad.” leaving out the part where it became “consensual” after several rapes." -- About how the media writes about rape as though it was "just another type" of sex. This is also systemic. Pay attention to this, too.
And now for the less awful, and possibly even awesome, stuff:
From Feministe:
A seven year old feminist speaks articulately about what that term means to/for her.
AND
Why Feminist Bloggers Kick Ass.
From The Angry Black Woman:
Short Fiction Featuring Writers of Colour -- Featuring our very own Tithenai!! :-D
AND
I Want an Earth Ship. Includes links for building in a cold climate! (Tchang, I'm looking at you!)
- TTFN, :-)
- Amazon. :-)
Carleton Offers a Workshop on Preventing Dating Violence -- Aimed at Guys.
From Feministing:
Ask Professor Foxy: How Do I Handle My Boyfriend's Sex Work? On what to do when you're sex-possitive, but know that your partner's job is hurting/scaring them.
From Shakesville:
Comic Fail -- On this morning's XKCD. Which was, I think, absolutely perfect. Right up until the last panel. :-P
From Pandagon:
And that’s why they invented the word 'systemic' -- On racism and the US healthcare "debate".
AND
Searching for Whiteopia (A Book Review) -- On living in a self-segregated bubble. These places sound an awful lot like Barhaven, Orleans and Kanata. "Lego Land", as Lenny calls it.
And now on to the really awful stuff (where we talk about other systemic things that suck):
From Questioning Transphobia:
Cis parolee sought in murder of woman. On the way the media talks about murdered trans women in ways that un-person them as well as un-gender them. This is systemic. Pay attention to this.
From Tiger Beatdown:
"I found two [headlines pertaining to MacKenzie Phillips] that were not [fucked up]! one was on MTV news and it read: “Mackenzie Phillips Claims Her Father Raped, Drugged Her.” one was on E! and it read, “Mackenzie Phillips: I Was Raped By My Father.” Now! you could find some problems with these headlines! BUT, every other source was like “Mackenzie Phillips Confesses Sex Affair With Dad.” leaving out the part where it became “consensual” after several rapes." -- About how the media writes about rape as though it was "just another type" of sex. This is also systemic. Pay attention to this, too.
And now for the less awful, and possibly even awesome, stuff:
From Feministe:
A seven year old feminist speaks articulately about what that term means to/for her.
AND
Why Feminist Bloggers Kick Ass.
From The Angry Black Woman:
Short Fiction Featuring Writers of Colour -- Featuring our very own Tithenai!! :-D
AND
I Want an Earth Ship. Includes links for building in a cold climate! (Tchang, I'm looking at you!)
- TTFN, :-)
- Amazon. :-)
Linked Via Feministing:
Coming Out in Middle School -- About being young and queer and out.
From Shakesville:
On "Real" Chrisitians and Christian Privilege.
AND
I Have to Be Transphobic to Protect Myself! -- About some twerp of a club-owner screwing over his gender-variant clientel. :-P
From Pandagon:
Why are women (slightly) more religious than men? -- An article that looks at gendered membership in religious communities from a different perspective than the usual "Hurhurhur, teh wiminz is SO gulible" PoV.
Interesting. :-)
Hunted up when I saw a microscopic news-blip in one of those free papers that get handed out down town:
Sex Trade Workers Decry Salvation Army Posters -- On the latest S.A. campaign's graphic imagery and assumptions that all sex work is human trafficking.
From Womanist Musings:
Trans Sex Worker Assaulted -- Which will make you really angry at the Vancouver police. >:-\
AND
What If Selling Sex Is Your Business? -- On sex work, from the PoV of a sex worker who would prefer to be in a different line of work.
On a lighter note, From TransGriot:
Fun With Andrea and Calpernia at the University of Louisville's pride festivities. Includes the trailer for Calperia Adams' and Andrea James' new film "Transproofed".
From Feministe:
The Way We Die Now -- About how elder care is, predominantly, women's (unpaid) work: one more reason why Health Care is a women's issue.
Coming Out in Middle School -- About being young and queer and out.
From Shakesville:
On "Real" Chrisitians and Christian Privilege.
AND
I Have to Be Transphobic to Protect Myself! -- About some twerp of a club-owner screwing over his gender-variant clientel. :-P
From Pandagon:
Why are women (slightly) more religious than men? -- An article that looks at gendered membership in religious communities from a different perspective than the usual "Hurhurhur, teh wiminz is SO gulible" PoV.
Interesting. :-)
Hunted up when I saw a microscopic news-blip in one of those free papers that get handed out down town:
Sex Trade Workers Decry Salvation Army Posters -- On the latest S.A. campaign's graphic imagery and assumptions that all sex work is human trafficking.
From Womanist Musings:
Trans Sex Worker Assaulted -- Which will make you really angry at the Vancouver police. >:-\
AND
What If Selling Sex Is Your Business? -- On sex work, from the PoV of a sex worker who would prefer to be in a different line of work.
On a lighter note, From TransGriot:
Fun With Andrea and Calpernia at the University of Louisville's pride festivities. Includes the trailer for Calperia Adams' and Andrea James' new film "Transproofed".
From Feministe:
The Way We Die Now -- About how elder care is, predominantly, women's (unpaid) work: one more reason why Health Care is a women's issue.
Sent from the Toronto Women's Bookstore:
*~*~*~*~*
The Aboriginal Sex Workers Outreach Project Presents…
A BBQ for Aboriginal sex workers and their allies
FRI SEPT 18, 11am
Riverdale Farm
Come and meet other Aboriginal sex workers and their allies. A perfect chance to network, hang out, and eat good food!
TTC directions:
From Castle Frank Subway Station, get on Parliament bus and get off at Winchester . Walk east to the end of the street. The Farm is on the right. if you're on a bike just go east of Parliament on Winchester and do the same thing.
From College or Queens Park Subway Station, hop onto the eastbound streetcar and get off at Sumach Street, east of Parliament. Walk north to Carlton Street , then through the Riverdale Park West. The Farm is located at the east end of the Park. Look for the Maggies Banner!
*~*~*~*~*
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
*~*~*~*~*
The Aboriginal Sex Workers Outreach Project Presents…
A BBQ for Aboriginal sex workers and their allies
FRI SEPT 18, 11am
Riverdale Farm
Come and meet other Aboriginal sex workers and their allies. A perfect chance to network, hang out, and eat good food!
TTC directions:
From Castle Frank Subway Station, get on Parliament bus and get off at Winchester . Walk east to the end of the street. The Farm is on the right. if you're on a bike just go east of Parliament on Winchester and do the same thing.
From College or Queens Park Subway Station, hop onto the eastbound streetcar and get off at Sumach Street, east of Parliament. Walk north to Carlton Street , then through the Riverdale Park West. The Farm is located at the east end of the Park. Look for the Maggies Banner!
*~*~*~*~*
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
From Feministing:
My experience with a prostitute - a feminist perspective.
[EDIT: Discussion of privileged-cluelessness potentially forthcoming. /Edit]
AND
From Shakesville:
Rank (and File) Bigotry -- on rightwing hate-mongering and where it's gotten the GoP.
AND
From MissLynx (via Reyl, in the comments):
On Racism and the Canadian National Anthem.
AND
From The Angry Black Woman:
Race, Gender, and the Oppressive Public Gaze... -- on the recent (mis)treatment of middle-distance runner Caster Semenya by the media and the IAFF.
AND
Some philosophizing from Tiger Beatdown -- on Michael Moore, Revenge Movies, and the Nature of Good and Evil.
AND
This is Not About the PRETTY -- On obeisity, health-care-provider burn-out, horrible non-food and how our culture makes it cheap to come by, and what happens when bodies spend centuries (millenia) teaching themselves to hold onto callories and then, in the space of a hundred years (1850-1950?) everything has changed.
Heads Up: This will, almost certainly, make you angry. Or sad. Or both.
AND
From After Silence:
Thoughts from a Secondary Survivor -- About being the partner of someone who is going through trauma. There are days when I feel a bit like this.
AND
From The Viewspaper:
Living With the Devil -- On spousal rape and how "consent" works -- and doesn't work -- in Indian law.
AND
From Surviving Therapis Abuse:
"Don't Call It Consent" -- Being Groomed for Sex.
The last three links are part of Carnival Against Sexual Violence 78.
My experience with a prostitute - a feminist perspective.
[EDIT: Discussion of privileged-cluelessness potentially forthcoming. /Edit]
AND
From Shakesville:
Rank (and File) Bigotry -- on rightwing hate-mongering and where it's gotten the GoP.
AND
From MissLynx (via Reyl, in the comments):
On Racism and the Canadian National Anthem.
AND
From The Angry Black Woman:
Race, Gender, and the Oppressive Public Gaze... -- on the recent (mis)treatment of middle-distance runner Caster Semenya by the media and the IAFF.
AND
Some philosophizing from Tiger Beatdown -- on Michael Moore, Revenge Movies, and the Nature of Good and Evil.
AND
This is Not About the PRETTY -- On obeisity, health-care-provider burn-out, horrible non-food and how our culture makes it cheap to come by, and what happens when bodies spend centuries (millenia) teaching themselves to hold onto callories and then, in the space of a hundred years (1850-1950?) everything has changed.
Heads Up: This will, almost certainly, make you angry. Or sad. Or both.
AND
From After Silence:
Thoughts from a Secondary Survivor -- About being the partner of someone who is going through trauma. There are days when I feel a bit like this.
AND
From The Viewspaper:
Living With the Devil -- On spousal rape and how "consent" works -- and doesn't work -- in Indian law.
AND
From Surviving Therapis Abuse:
"Don't Call It Consent" -- Being Groomed for Sex.
The last three links are part of Carnival Against Sexual Violence 78.
They won’t let me donate blood.
Because of my girlfriend’s job.
No.
Not because of my girlfriend's job.
Because of Canadian Blood Services' assumptions about how my girlfriend *does* her job.
They assume that gay sex, or hired sex, (or African sex, apparently), is *unprotected* sex by default – so much-so that they don’t even put it on the form, they just blanket-statement assume that nothing else could be the case.
I'm working on my letter about how this is "problematic" (on many levels) and how adding the word "unprotected" to all questions that pertain to the sexual practices of a potential blood donor or said donor's sexual partners would be a good idea and would go some small way towards making the screning process less about homophobic, sex-negative, and sexist assumptions and more about *actually* keeping the donated-blood supply safe for people who need transfusions.
I'll be sending it to Ms. Elaine Fournier, Medical Services Coordinator for North/East Ontario and Nunavut, at:
elaine.fournier@blood.ca
You may wish to do the same.
Because of my girlfriend’s job.
No.
Not because of my girlfriend's job.
Because of Canadian Blood Services' assumptions about how my girlfriend *does* her job.
They assume that gay sex, or hired sex, (or African sex, apparently), is *unprotected* sex by default – so much-so that they don’t even put it on the form, they just blanket-statement assume that nothing else could be the case.
I'm working on my letter about how this is "problematic" (on many levels) and how adding the word "unprotected" to all questions that pertain to the sexual practices of a potential blood donor or said donor's sexual partners would be a good idea and would go some small way towards making the screning process less about homophobic, sex-negative, and sexist assumptions and more about *actually* keeping the donated-blood supply safe for people who need transfusions.
I'll be sending it to Ms. Elaine Fournier, Medical Services Coordinator for North/East Ontario and Nunavut, at:
elaine.fournier@blood.ca
You may wish to do the same.
From Harlot’s Parlour:
Risk Reduction Tips for Street Sex Workers
From Geek Feminism:
When I Became a Mom I Put Away Childish Things – On fandom and motherhood.
From Questioning Transphobia:
Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid… ‘Cause we can’t have those trans people breeding, doncha know… (Sadly, they really aren’t kidding…)
From Feministing:
When Male Entitlement Collides with Facebook.
From No Impact Man:
Urban Rooftop Farming will Save the World -- I so wanna do this kind of thing! :-D
AND
Just Food
From their website:
"A non-profit organization that works to develop a just and sustainable food system in the New York City region [...] by fostering new marketing and food-growing opportunities that address the needs of regional, rural family farms, NYC community gardeners, and NYC communities".
[EDIT:
Related Link, courtesy of Rottenfruit, in the comments:
Ottawa's Chapter of Just Food, which I must now go and check out. :-D
/EDIT]
Risk Reduction Tips for Street Sex Workers
From Geek Feminism:
When I Became a Mom I Put Away Childish Things – On fandom and motherhood.
From Questioning Transphobia:
Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid… ‘Cause we can’t have those trans people breeding, doncha know… (Sadly, they really aren’t kidding…)
From Feministing:
When Male Entitlement Collides with Facebook.
From No Impact Man:
Urban Rooftop Farming will Save the World -- I so wanna do this kind of thing! :-D
AND
Just Food
From their website:
"A non-profit organization that works to develop a just and sustainable food system in the New York City region [...] by fostering new marketing and food-growing opportunities that address the needs of regional, rural family farms, NYC community gardeners, and NYC communities".
[EDIT:
Related Link, courtesy of Rottenfruit, in the comments:
Ottawa's Chapter of Just Food, which I must now go and check out. :-D
/EDIT]
A book review from Tiger Beatdown:
Hos, Hookers, Call Girls and Rent Boys -- An anthology I would like to read, in part because it looks at different types of sex work (and experiences of doing sex work) from the perspective of privilege.
E.G.: A university-educated gal who does escorting in a hotel room and chose the job from a wide variety of other options some of them similarily lucretive and/or flexible is going to have a significantly different experience from an under-educated gal who does escorting in a hotel room (or a street corner) and chose the job from a much smaller variety of other options most-of-which pay minimum wage.
A black rent-boy is going to be dealing with a very different set of client-assumptions and/or expectations than an asian rent-boy or a white rent-boy or what-have you.
Someone who strips to pay for school is going to have a much different view of her experiences (particularly the bad ones, if/when she has them) than someone who strips to pay for surgery/HRT who is going to have a much different view of her experiences (particularly the bad ones, if/when she has them) than someone who strips to pay for the drugs she hooked on, and so on and so forth.
Once again, I want to read this book.
Two articles from Fugitivus (which everyone should read. No seriously. EVERYONE):
A Few Things To Stop Doing When You Find a Feminist Blog -- Which is long and takes a look at The Status Quo, Privilege, Misogyny, Victimhood, and a whole big bunch of other stuff. There's even instructional videos. Go. Read. NOW.
AND
"Sure, A Woman Shouldn’t Be Raped For Wearing a Short Skirt, But If I Leave My Door Unlocked, It’s Only Reasonable To Expect I Will Be Robbed" and Why That Annalogy is So Totally Fucked that It Boggles the Mind -- About social responsibility, paying attention to the nasty things we secretly believe, and huge-assed disclaimers that confirm that you do, too, believe X.
Go read this one, too.
Followed by:
Harlot's Parlour -- A blog about sex work and sexuality from multiple international perspectives (started in the UK).
One Taste orgasmic meditation -- Eight Reflections on Intimacy. (My sweetie and I were looking at these while in NYC).
From Feministing:
The Rape Problem -- About university administration and victim-blaming/shaming.
AND
From Sex Geek:
Topping a Top -- about boundaries, respect, intimacy, vulnerability, and how the kink community treats dominant people vs submissive people. Dovetails nicely with this post by Naamah_Darling.
AND
The Logistics of Non-Monogamy. Good advice for those (like my good self) who are out of the harbour and starting to navigate the open (-relationship) ocean for the first (or not the first) time. :-)
In Other News: Making a vegetable stew tonight. It was such an autumny morning (I could see my breath and everything) that I felt a need to make something hearty for dinner. Granted, it's 8:30, I'm tired, and the stew is still pretty soupy. But I shall have a very hearty lunch tomorrow (and probably the next day) instead. :-)
Ingredients:
tamari
sesame oil
dash of chili powder
lots of savoury
some sage
dash of thyme
black pepper
garlic
green onions
water
Romano beans (tinned, but very well rinced and drained)
button mushrooms
yellow summer squash (small and cut into sliver-thin rounds)
sweet potato (1)
yukon gold potatoes (2)
nori (one sheet, roughly torn)
baby spinach (plus extra to add at the end)
I think it will be quite tasty. :-)
- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)
Hos, Hookers, Call Girls and Rent Boys -- An anthology I would like to read, in part because it looks at different types of sex work (and experiences of doing sex work) from the perspective of privilege.
E.G.: A university-educated gal who does escorting in a hotel room and chose the job from a wide variety of other options some of them similarily lucretive and/or flexible is going to have a significantly different experience from an under-educated gal who does escorting in a hotel room (or a street corner) and chose the job from a much smaller variety of other options most-of-which pay minimum wage.
A black rent-boy is going to be dealing with a very different set of client-assumptions and/or expectations than an asian rent-boy or a white rent-boy or what-have you.
Someone who strips to pay for school is going to have a much different view of her experiences (particularly the bad ones, if/when she has them) than someone who strips to pay for surgery/HRT who is going to have a much different view of her experiences (particularly the bad ones, if/when she has them) than someone who strips to pay for the drugs she hooked on, and so on and so forth.
Once again, I want to read this book.
Two articles from Fugitivus (which everyone should read. No seriously. EVERYONE):
A Few Things To Stop Doing When You Find a Feminist Blog -- Which is long and takes a look at The Status Quo, Privilege, Misogyny, Victimhood, and a whole big bunch of other stuff. There's even instructional videos. Go. Read. NOW.
AND
"Sure, A Woman Shouldn’t Be Raped For Wearing a Short Skirt, But If I Leave My Door Unlocked, It’s Only Reasonable To Expect I Will Be Robbed" and Why That Annalogy is So Totally Fucked that It Boggles the Mind -- About social responsibility, paying attention to the nasty things we secretly believe, and huge-assed disclaimers that confirm that you do, too, believe X.
Go read this one, too.
Followed by:
Harlot's Parlour -- A blog about sex work and sexuality from multiple international perspectives (started in the UK).
One Taste orgasmic meditation -- Eight Reflections on Intimacy. (My sweetie and I were looking at these while in NYC).
From Feministing:
The Rape Problem -- About university administration and victim-blaming/shaming.
AND
From Sex Geek:
Topping a Top -- about boundaries, respect, intimacy, vulnerability, and how the kink community treats dominant people vs submissive people. Dovetails nicely with this post by Naamah_Darling.
AND
The Logistics of Non-Monogamy. Good advice for those (like my good self) who are out of the harbour and starting to navigate the open (-relationship) ocean for the first (or not the first) time. :-)
In Other News: Making a vegetable stew tonight. It was such an autumny morning (I could see my breath and everything) that I felt a need to make something hearty for dinner. Granted, it's 8:30, I'm tired, and the stew is still pretty soupy. But I shall have a very hearty lunch tomorrow (and probably the next day) instead. :-)
Ingredients:
tamari
sesame oil
dash of chili powder
lots of savoury
some sage
dash of thyme
black pepper
garlic
green onions
water
Romano beans (tinned, but very well rinced and drained)
button mushrooms
yellow summer squash (small and cut into sliver-thin rounds)
sweet potato (1)
yukon gold potatoes (2)
nori (one sheet, roughly torn)
baby spinach (plus extra to add at the end)
I think it will be quite tasty. :-)
- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)
From TransGriot:
Women Come In All Shapes, Body Sizes, Hairstyles and Genitalia Configurations - a short article that draws attention to some interesting points.
From Feministing:
News media sucks at reporting on violent attacks on transgender individuals in Washington, D.C. - which is scary and depressing, but I'm linking to it anyway. :-(
And some links from Pandagon that I'm putting here because they looked interesting at first glance. (I confess, I haven't read them yet, either):
Stupid Misogyny in Movie(s),
AND
Intersection of racism, sexism, and lotsa other isms in rightwingnuttery, in this case as it pertains to legal abortion,
AND
About "facials" (which I have read). It discusses playing with porn-tropes in the bedroom and the "prude card" vs the "but-it's-not-degrading card" and a whole lot of talk about degredation play and what is and isn't degrading and "intellectual honesty" and, well, basically... personal opinions get involved (as they generally do). I'm not sure what to do with it, but I think it's worth a read.
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
Women Come In All Shapes, Body Sizes, Hairstyles and Genitalia Configurations - a short article that draws attention to some interesting points.
From Feministing:
News media sucks at reporting on violent attacks on transgender individuals in Washington, D.C. - which is scary and depressing, but I'm linking to it anyway. :-(
And some links from Pandagon that I'm putting here because they looked interesting at first glance. (I confess, I haven't read them yet, either):
Stupid Misogyny in Movie(s),
AND
Intersection of racism, sexism, and lotsa other isms in rightwingnuttery, in this case as it pertains to legal abortion,
AND
About "facials" (which I have read). It discusses playing with porn-tropes in the bedroom and the "prude card" vs the "but-it's-not-degrading card" and a whole lot of talk about degredation play and what is and isn't degrading and "intellectual honesty" and, well, basically... personal opinions get involved (as they generally do). I'm not sure what to do with it, but I think it's worth a read.
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
Modern Hooker a slice-of-life webcomic about being an upscale escort. It's part of the Carnal Nation website.
Part public service announcement and lots of funny-cause-it's-true (at least going by my girlfriend's experiences).
Whee! :-D
Also: This Picture makes me grin. YAY NDP! ;-D
Off to visit Arndis now. :-D
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
Part public service announcement and lots of funny-cause-it's-true (at least going by my girlfriend's experiences).
Whee! :-D
Also: This Picture makes me grin. YAY NDP! ;-D
Off to visit Arndis now. :-D
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
Awesome?
I think so. :-D
(Note: Yes, something weird happened in the video-editing process).
Tags:
So I got to thinking...
Where is the line between linking to people's discussion of violence done to them in order to show that shit like this happens all the fucking time, and turning those people's experiences into some sort of a "can't look away" car-wreck spectacle?
Where does it go from "Raising Awareness" to "Pointing and Going OHMAGAHD"?
'Cause I post a lot of links to "Look at Person X's crappy experience at the hands of transmisogyny/whorephobia/sexism/anti-queer-sentiment/sex-negativity/etc.
And, yes, I'm linking to stuff that has been posted on the internet on publicly accessible sites, so clearly the posters want it to be found and read.
And, yes, clearly I'm aiming for "Here, have some information" when I post all those links and what-not.
But I wonder if I occasionally end up doing more of a seriously morbid ring-master thing.
"In the Center Ring we have the body of a teenaged girl beaten to death by a grown man who thought she should die because her sex and her gender didn't match up the way he thought they should!"
"Chill to the sight of an eleven-year-old boy who committed suicide after enduring constant homophobic bullying at school!"
"The annual death-toll of sex-workers killed on the job will SHOCK you!"
All this, under the Big Top...
I feel a bit weird about it, sometimes.
Where is the line between linking to people's discussion of violence done to them in order to show that shit like this happens all the fucking time, and turning those people's experiences into some sort of a "can't look away" car-wreck spectacle?
Where does it go from "Raising Awareness" to "Pointing and Going OHMAGAHD"?
'Cause I post a lot of links to "Look at Person X's crappy experience at the hands of transmisogyny/whorephobia/sexism/anti-queer-sentiment/sex-negativity/etc.
And, yes, I'm linking to stuff that has been posted on the internet on publicly accessible sites, so clearly the posters want it to be found and read.
And, yes, clearly I'm aiming for "Here, have some information" when I post all those links and what-not.
But I wonder if I occasionally end up doing more of a seriously morbid ring-master thing.
"In the Center Ring we have the body of a teenaged girl beaten to death by a grown man who thought she should die because her sex and her gender didn't match up the way he thought they should!"
"Chill to the sight of an eleven-year-old boy who committed suicide after enduring constant homophobic bullying at school!"
"The annual death-toll of sex-workers killed on the job will SHOCK you!"
All this, under the Big Top...
I feel a bit weird about it, sometimes.
You remember a while back I posted about how some fucker has been killing sex workers who he contracted with on Craigslist?
An arrest has been made. And the police are actually, like, taking an interest and asking for other victims - if there are any - to come forward. Call me cynical, but this actually surprised me. :-\
Comentary from Shakesville. (Amen, sister...)
Related Book: The Gift of Fear, about systematic violence and how it can be predicted.
An arrest has been made. And the police are actually, like, taking an interest and asking for other victims - if there are any - to come forward. Call me cynical, but this actually surprised me. :-\
Comentary from Shakesville. (Amen, sister...)
Related Book: The Gift of Fear, about systematic violence and how it can be predicted.
Okay, so I didn't put this in my links-of-the-day post, BUT: Pandagon has a post about Eliot Spitzer, the contents of-which I found somewhat thought-provoking.
Right. See, there's this:
I think many to most men who hire prostitutes are [sadists] on some level, and I think many to most men who hire prostitutes are on some level, and the rationalization is that the money makes fucking someone who really doesn’t want to fuck you okay.
Now, clearly, as a sadist, I have Issues with this statement. More to the point, I think the author of the post is kind of way off the mark.
That plenty of men who hire prosititues (visit strip clubs, go to peep-shows, hire erotic massage artists, visit pro-dommes to satisfy their submission fetishes, etc. etc.) are entitled assholes, yes. Certainly.
But so are the guys who holler out the car window at me when I'm walking down the street. So are the guys who assume I should take time out of my day to look something up for them that they didn't bother to look up for themselves. So are the guys who tell me to Smiiiiiiiiiiiiiile, and the guys who cut off their girlfriends mid-sentence to change the conversation topic to, say, the latest gaming craze, who cheat on their spouses and sweethearts and then say "well, if you'd just given me what I want..." rather than actively trying to "get" what they want within their monogamous relationship through actual communication and mutual effort, and every fella who's ever bitched "What about teh menz???" on a feminist blog thread.
Hiring a sex worker doesn't automatically *make* you an entitled asshole though, any more than commenting on the aforementioned feminist blogs automatically *makes* you a feminist.
It certainly doesn't make you a sadist - unless you are hiring a pro-sub/masochist, in-which case you are probably already a sadist and are excersising those desires in a safe, sane and consensual (I should bloody well hope) way with an erotic professional who can show you the ropes and definitely knows how and when to use a safeword.
Right. But that's not what got my attention. what got my attention is this:
[The] rationalization is that the money makes fucking someone who really doesn’t want to fuck you okay.
Not exactly, no.
See... If, by "sadist", the author means "deliberately cruel sociopath", then the person isn't going to give a rats ass whether or not fucking someone who doesn't want to fuck you is okay. Because he's a sociopath with zero empathy and why on earth would he pay money to fuck someone if he doesn't give a shit about consent and could just go out and rape somebody for free (and probably no charges, not that rape charges tend to result in convictions anyway)?
Similarly, if, by "sadist", the author means "entitled asshole"... er... same thing applies. If he thinks he's *entitled* to a fuck whenever he wants it, then hiring someone just means he doesn't have to deal with any of the "messy fall-out" that (could) come from fucking a non-professional -- you know, date-rape charges or emotional attachment, or whatever it happens to be ('cause, y'know, women *never* just want no-strings-attached hawt sex. For us nurturing women-folk, that's just... unnatural!)
You get me?
So it's not that money makes fucking an un-attracted person okay.
but the author *has* picked up on some of the social connections between money and sex. Such as:
There are plenty of entitled assholes who think that offering money (or more money, or a more expensive dinner, or jewelery, or a vacation to Niagra on the Lake, or whatever) will turn a "no" into a "yes"[1].
Idiots often say that "sex workers who call RAPE are actually just pissed that they didn't get paid" (see above re: Money can turna "no" into a "yes").
AND
This is one that my sweetie has brought up: When a guy has hired you and isn't going to pay, he tends to ask questions like "Do you find me attractive?" and he tends to ask them repeatedly.
As in: It's not so much that money makes fucking someone who doesn't want to fuck you okay, as that desire on the part of the sex-worker makes stiffing them okay.
Um, no.
Do you go into a restaurant, order an expensive meal, and then proceed to chat up the waiter/chef/restauranteur with constant questions of "So, you like to cook, right? You like your work?" and "I've got a good appetite, don't I? You think I look hungry, right?" under the impression that this will, somehow, magically make them willing to feed you for free, even though you've already agreed to pay for the service/meal/etc. Right?
Of course not. That would be bloody ridiculous, right?
But we have such a fucked up discourse around sex in this culture...
As is my wont, I blame The Patriarchy for this. That whole cultural trope that "Women are For Men to Fuck"/"Men are Entitled to Sex (from/with Women) Any Time They Want It".
If we believe, as a culture, that women arerequired supposed to want *willing* to give it up for/to men[2], then clearly *every* sex-worker is unwilling *every* time because, if she were *really* consenting to fuck Guy X, she wouldn't feel a need to demand a fee in order to be "convinced". Or similar.
See what I mean?
Anyway. This is all squirling around in my head right now. If anyone wants to discuss this stuff, feel free.
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
[1] Thense "But I paid for dinner!!!" AND "But I'm your husband!!!" and all that other crap.
[2] "required", while accurate, negates the whole "gate-keeper" thing where we're actually required to *not* give it up, unless someone's put a wedding ring on our finger - and, even then, only to that particular guy. "Supposed to want" is, well, not accurate at all. We're supposed to *not* want, but capitulate anyway, because Woman's Place is Prone (to highjack a phrase), or something like that. But we're supposed to be passive, not active, and certainly not desirous.
Moving right along.
Right. See, there's this:
I think many to most men who hire prostitutes are [sadists] on some level, and I think many to most men who hire prostitutes are on some level, and the rationalization is that the money makes fucking someone who really doesn’t want to fuck you okay.
Now, clearly, as a sadist, I have Issues with this statement. More to the point, I think the author of the post is kind of way off the mark.
That plenty of men who hire prosititues (visit strip clubs, go to peep-shows, hire erotic massage artists, visit pro-dommes to satisfy their submission fetishes, etc. etc.) are entitled assholes, yes. Certainly.
But so are the guys who holler out the car window at me when I'm walking down the street. So are the guys who assume I should take time out of my day to look something up for them that they didn't bother to look up for themselves. So are the guys who tell me to Smiiiiiiiiiiiiiile, and the guys who cut off their girlfriends mid-sentence to change the conversation topic to, say, the latest gaming craze, who cheat on their spouses and sweethearts and then say "well, if you'd just given me what I want..." rather than actively trying to "get" what they want within their monogamous relationship through actual communication and mutual effort, and every fella who's ever bitched "What about teh menz???" on a feminist blog thread.
Hiring a sex worker doesn't automatically *make* you an entitled asshole though, any more than commenting on the aforementioned feminist blogs automatically *makes* you a feminist.
It certainly doesn't make you a sadist - unless you are hiring a pro-sub/masochist, in-which case you are probably already a sadist and are excersising those desires in a safe, sane and consensual (I should bloody well hope) way with an erotic professional who can show you the ropes and definitely knows how and when to use a safeword.
Right. But that's not what got my attention. what got my attention is this:
[The] rationalization is that the money makes fucking someone who really doesn’t want to fuck you okay.
Not exactly, no.
See... If, by "sadist", the author means "deliberately cruel sociopath", then the person isn't going to give a rats ass whether or not fucking someone who doesn't want to fuck you is okay. Because he's a sociopath with zero empathy and why on earth would he pay money to fuck someone if he doesn't give a shit about consent and could just go out and rape somebody for free (and probably no charges, not that rape charges tend to result in convictions anyway)?
Similarly, if, by "sadist", the author means "entitled asshole"... er... same thing applies. If he thinks he's *entitled* to a fuck whenever he wants it, then hiring someone just means he doesn't have to deal with any of the "messy fall-out" that (could) come from fucking a non-professional -- you know, date-rape charges or emotional attachment, or whatever it happens to be ('cause, y'know, women *never* just want no-strings-attached hawt sex. For us nurturing women-folk, that's just... unnatural!)
You get me?
So it's not that money makes fucking an un-attracted person okay.
but the author *has* picked up on some of the social connections between money and sex. Such as:
There are plenty of entitled assholes who think that offering money (or more money, or a more expensive dinner, or jewelery, or a vacation to Niagra on the Lake, or whatever) will turn a "no" into a "yes"[1].
Idiots often say that "sex workers who call RAPE are actually just pissed that they didn't get paid" (see above re: Money can turna "no" into a "yes").
AND
This is one that my sweetie has brought up: When a guy has hired you and isn't going to pay, he tends to ask questions like "Do you find me attractive?" and he tends to ask them repeatedly.
As in: It's not so much that money makes fucking someone who doesn't want to fuck you okay, as that desire on the part of the sex-worker makes stiffing them okay.
Um, no.
Do you go into a restaurant, order an expensive meal, and then proceed to chat up the waiter/chef/restauranteur with constant questions of "So, you like to cook, right? You like your work?" and "I've got a good appetite, don't I? You think I look hungry, right?" under the impression that this will, somehow, magically make them willing to feed you for free, even though you've already agreed to pay for the service/meal/etc. Right?
Of course not. That would be bloody ridiculous, right?
But we have such a fucked up discourse around sex in this culture...
As is my wont, I blame The Patriarchy for this. That whole cultural trope that "Women are For Men to Fuck"/"Men are Entitled to Sex (from/with Women) Any Time They Want It".
If we believe, as a culture, that women are
See what I mean?
Anyway. This is all squirling around in my head right now. If anyone wants to discuss this stuff, feel free.
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
[1] Thense "But I paid for dinner!!!" AND "But I'm your husband!!!" and all that other crap.
[2] "required", while accurate, negates the whole "gate-keeper" thing where we're actually required to *not* give it up, unless someone's put a wedding ring on our finger - and, even then, only to that particular guy. "Supposed to want" is, well, not accurate at all. We're supposed to *not* want, but capitulate anyway, because Woman's Place is Prone (to highjack a phrase), or something like that. But we're supposed to be passive, not active, and certainly not desirous.
Moving right along.
So.
I now have purple-ish hair. YAY! :-D
Also there is Family Dinner tonight. I shall bring Riesling. Also, possibly, spelt-and-oat-flour chocolate-coconut trifle. :-)
(We'll see what kind of time I have once I get home. It may be a chocolate-mousse instead, since that takes like, 1 hour to make, solidifying time included. ;-)
In other, significantly LESS yay-inducing news:
NYC Sex-Worker Murdered in Boston.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand FUCK!
I mean, yes, from a *purely* personal PoV, my sweetie probably isn’t going to be targeted by this fucker – she doesn’t do Craigslist, for a start, and he doesn’t seem to be targeting tgirls.
But, on the other hand, (A) I could be wrong on that and (B) this is (at least) his second victim.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
If people with f-list folks in NYC/Boston/That-General-Area want to link to this and spread the word, that'd be good. (I mean, yes, there's a good chance that anyone in the area has already heard about this, but just in case?)
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
I now have purple-ish hair. YAY! :-D
Also there is Family Dinner tonight. I shall bring Riesling. Also, possibly, spelt-and-oat-flour chocolate-coconut trifle. :-)
(We'll see what kind of time I have once I get home. It may be a chocolate-mousse instead, since that takes like, 1 hour to make, solidifying time included. ;-)
In other, significantly LESS yay-inducing news:
NYC Sex-Worker Murdered in Boston.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand FUCK!
I mean, yes, from a *purely* personal PoV, my sweetie probably isn’t going to be targeted by this fucker – she doesn’t do Craigslist, for a start, and he doesn’t seem to be targeting tgirls.
But, on the other hand, (A) I could be wrong on that and (B) this is (at least) his second victim.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
If people with f-list folks in NYC/Boston/That-General-Area want to link to this and spread the word, that'd be good. (I mean, yes, there's a good chance that anyone in the area has already heard about this, but just in case?)
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
So. Some, um, interesting news...
The course that I'm co-ordinating is having its dates changed so that they don't conflict with some other Thing that's being run concurently and targeted at the same people.
:-\
They are going to keep me on doing admin stuff - which is a relief. One of the gals in the General Office is going to Hong Kong for six weeks. So there will be work for me to do.
I'm not totally sure how this is going to work yet.
It may mean that I just go from now until, like, late November working here. Which would be handy.
Or it may mean something else.
My boss is going home sick right now (she looked a bit of a wreck, so that's a good thing), but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough what's going on. (Hopefully it will be all good things).
She tells me to go and talk to her boss (the rocker chick with the pink hair) about the CR03/CR04 competition that's open to the public.
I suspect this will ivolve getting a B on my oral exam (and booking said oral exam... any idea how I do that?) but, if I make the cut and end up in The Pool (dun-dun-duuuuuuuuun), they can happilly pull me out of it and <*bing!*> I suddenly have a perma-job with benefits and a full sallary. And dental.
That'd be really nice. :-)
Anyway. So that's what I've heard today.
In other news: I get to have dinner with McWetboy this evening! Whee! :-)
Random Link of the Day:
Network of Sex Work Project
An informal alliance of sex workers and organizations that provide services to sex workers, formed in 1991.
- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)
The course that I'm co-ordinating is having its dates changed so that they don't conflict with some other Thing that's being run concurently and targeted at the same people.
:-\
They are going to keep me on doing admin stuff - which is a relief. One of the gals in the General Office is going to Hong Kong for six weeks. So there will be work for me to do.
I'm not totally sure how this is going to work yet.
It may mean that I just go from now until, like, late November working here. Which would be handy.
Or it may mean something else.
My boss is going home sick right now (she looked a bit of a wreck, so that's a good thing), but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough what's going on. (Hopefully it will be all good things).
She tells me to go and talk to her boss (the rocker chick with the pink hair) about the CR03/CR04 competition that's open to the public.
I suspect this will ivolve getting a B on my oral exam (and booking said oral exam... any idea how I do that?) but, if I make the cut and end up in The Pool (dun-dun-duuuuuuuuun), they can happilly pull me out of it and <*bing!*> I suddenly have a perma-job with benefits and a full sallary. And dental.
That'd be really nice. :-)
Anyway. So that's what I've heard today.
In other news: I get to have dinner with McWetboy this evening! Whee! :-)
Random Link of the Day:
Network of Sex Work Project
An informal alliance of sex workers and organizations that provide services to sex workers, formed in 1991.
- TTFN,
- Amazon. :-)
Tags:
Are you familiar with the blog I Blame the Patriarchy?
It’s written by a gal who goes by the name of Twisty and it is, by and large, quite a good blog with a lot of smart things to say.
However, something is bothering me.
See, she’s very anti sex-workers. Or so it appears, given how she writes.
I’d like to say that she’s just down on the industry which, I agree, could do with some damn significant overhauling in terms of who has power and how workers are treated (by employers, clients, the police and the media, for a small slew of examples).
Unfortunately, statements like the following seem to belie this possibility:
I have to wonder how many of the women identifying as “feminist” in the study were in fact the sort of feminist for whom “pole dancer” is a synonym. What I suggest is not altogether an unlikely scenario, since this species of feminist is, as we know, much more common than the feminist kind of feminist. Feminists who use their empowerfulization to reclaim femininity, you know, for themselves goddammit, would of course enjoy the reinforcingly pleasant side effect of appeasing dudes who are threatened by non-patriarchal gender roles.
(Emphasis mine).
See, what I see here is the specific and deliberate contrasting of “sex worker” with “feminist” – as if the two could only ever be mutually exclusive.
As if Carol Leigh, Carol Queen, Annie Sprinkle, Sasha van Bon Bon, Chris Bruckert, Kathryn Payne and my own girlfriend – just to name a very limited few – aren’t/weren’t radical feminists *and* sex workers at the same time.
So I’ve decided to use that paragraph, and the opinions that (seem to) underlie it, as a jumping-off point for something I want to talk about.
See, as both Carol Queen and Kathryn Payne (among others) have pointed out more than a few times, The Patriarchy – and the homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, and general sexism (to say the least) that go with it – fears and loathes femininity.
“Proper” femininity is “under control”, infantilized one might say. It’s the femininity that wears pink and simpers and doesn’t know how to make decisions. It’s the femininity that says “yes dear,” over and over again. This femininity does not leave the domestic sphere – the house, maybe even just the kitchen. She has no concept of her own desire beyond a pubescent shame over her own body. This femininity sees sex as a wifely (only wifely, not girlfriendly) duty and/or a means to getting born-in-wedlock children.
This is the femininity that is held up, virginal and obedient, by The Patriarchy (the church and the law) as what women “should” be.
The other femininity. The one that is denigrated by the church and the law, the femininity that is all grown up, that wears red, that is carnal and knows it, that isn’t shut off from or out of her body, this femininity is criminalized, marginalized and demonized by The Patriarchy. And it’s denigrated in this way, and to this extreme, because The Patriarchy – this androcentric culture that is so, SO divorced from its own sensuality, sexuality, bodiliness – knows how damn much it craves, collectively, that carnality, that flesh which it has, throughout the cultural histories it claims as its lineage, called “female” and “womanly” and also “base”, “evil”, and “filth”.
Kathryn Payne has explained that the power (economic and survival) of the sex worker (the stripper, the agency escort, the street-walker, the porn star, the trophy-wife (bet you didn’t see that one coming – or maybe you did), the pro-domme, the peepshow dancer, all of them) lies in working femininity: in pulling out the stops and turning up the volume of what it is to be feminine until you can see it, hear it, smell it coming blocks and blocks away. This is NOT femininity that is performed to “[appease] dudes who are threatened by non-patriarchal gender roles”[1].
When one denigrates sex workers, one denigrates overt, aware feminine sexuality: One denigrates power-full, empowered femininity (whether that femininity is being done/played overtly for cash or for personal pleasure or for both) that knows what it wants and knows how to demand it. This denigration corroborates the beliefs and the power-structures (see [1]) of The Patriarchy, and it does the cause of Feminism no good what so ever.
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
[1] Because patriarchal gender roles include “active, aware, sexually aggressive, and independent men/males/masculinity” VS “passive, clueless, sexually “receptive” (receptical?) and andro-dependent women/females/femininity”, while sex-worker femininity is active, aware and aggressive, and knows that – particularly in the context of sex work itself – while masculine sexuality craves and seeks out feminine sexuality, feminine sexuality is whole and complete until itself.
It’s written by a gal who goes by the name of Twisty and it is, by and large, quite a good blog with a lot of smart things to say.
However, something is bothering me.
See, she’s very anti sex-workers. Or so it appears, given how she writes.
I’d like to say that she’s just down on the industry which, I agree, could do with some damn significant overhauling in terms of who has power and how workers are treated (by employers, clients, the police and the media, for a small slew of examples).
Unfortunately, statements like the following seem to belie this possibility:
I have to wonder how many of the women identifying as “feminist” in the study were in fact the sort of feminist for whom “pole dancer” is a synonym. What I suggest is not altogether an unlikely scenario, since this species of feminist is, as we know, much more common than the feminist kind of feminist. Feminists who use their empowerfulization to reclaim femininity, you know, for themselves goddammit, would of course enjoy the reinforcingly pleasant side effect of appeasing dudes who are threatened by non-patriarchal gender roles.
(Emphasis mine).
See, what I see here is the specific and deliberate contrasting of “sex worker” with “feminist” – as if the two could only ever be mutually exclusive.
As if Carol Leigh, Carol Queen, Annie Sprinkle, Sasha van Bon Bon, Chris Bruckert, Kathryn Payne and my own girlfriend – just to name a very limited few – aren’t/weren’t radical feminists *and* sex workers at the same time.
So I’ve decided to use that paragraph, and the opinions that (seem to) underlie it, as a jumping-off point for something I want to talk about.
See, as both Carol Queen and Kathryn Payne (among others) have pointed out more than a few times, The Patriarchy – and the homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, and general sexism (to say the least) that go with it – fears and loathes femininity.
“Proper” femininity is “under control”, infantilized one might say. It’s the femininity that wears pink and simpers and doesn’t know how to make decisions. It’s the femininity that says “yes dear,” over and over again. This femininity does not leave the domestic sphere – the house, maybe even just the kitchen. She has no concept of her own desire beyond a pubescent shame over her own body. This femininity sees sex as a wifely (only wifely, not girlfriendly) duty and/or a means to getting born-in-wedlock children.
This is the femininity that is held up, virginal and obedient, by The Patriarchy (the church and the law) as what women “should” be.
The other femininity. The one that is denigrated by the church and the law, the femininity that is all grown up, that wears red, that is carnal and knows it, that isn’t shut off from or out of her body, this femininity is criminalized, marginalized and demonized by The Patriarchy. And it’s denigrated in this way, and to this extreme, because The Patriarchy – this androcentric culture that is so, SO divorced from its own sensuality, sexuality, bodiliness – knows how damn much it craves, collectively, that carnality, that flesh which it has, throughout the cultural histories it claims as its lineage, called “female” and “womanly” and also “base”, “evil”, and “filth”.
Kathryn Payne has explained that the power (economic and survival) of the sex worker (the stripper, the agency escort, the street-walker, the porn star, the trophy-wife (bet you didn’t see that one coming – or maybe you did), the pro-domme, the peepshow dancer, all of them) lies in working femininity: in pulling out the stops and turning up the volume of what it is to be feminine until you can see it, hear it, smell it coming blocks and blocks away. This is NOT femininity that is performed to “[appease] dudes who are threatened by non-patriarchal gender roles”[1].
When one denigrates sex workers, one denigrates overt, aware feminine sexuality: One denigrates power-full, empowered femininity (whether that femininity is being done/played overtly for cash or for personal pleasure or for both) that knows what it wants and knows how to demand it. This denigration corroborates the beliefs and the power-structures (see [1]) of The Patriarchy, and it does the cause of Feminism no good what so ever.
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
[1] Because patriarchal gender roles include “active, aware, sexually aggressive, and independent men/males/masculinity” VS “passive, clueless, sexually “receptive” (receptical?) and andro-dependent women/females/femininity”, while sex-worker femininity is active, aware and aggressive, and knows that – particularly in the context of sex work itself – while masculine sexuality craves and seeks out feminine sexuality, feminine sexuality is whole and complete until itself.
Just talked to Miz Sara. :-)
(I'm loving that she's calling me regularly!)
She was all, like, "I'm going stir-crazy and I want company!"
And I said "Go to the $pread Magazine launch party! You're on the same island! Take advantage!"
So she's going to go. :-D
Yay for networking and having fun at the same time! :-D
Anyway. I'm sleepy and exhausted, so I'm going to go to bed. But I've re-organized my closet a little bit and sorted my beads into various earring configurations, so I'm happy. :-)
In considering Quarto bracelets, I'm thinking I could put a charm on each one. A train engine for Sei, a bee (or a bee hive) for November, a key (and/or a lock) for Oleg, and a book for Ludoviko. Sei and Oleg would have burgundy and crimson, though I'm not sure which would be for which. November would have carnelian, dark honeyed amber. Ludoviko would have scarlet, half for his cimeric wife.
This might or might not work.
And it would still require me to find the right beads.
It would be easy enough to just do a triple-strand of each - carnelian, coral, garnet... but I can't do rubies for crimson, so another stone (cherry amber?) would have to be found (possibly Czech glass, alas, but it would do) - possibly with the middle strand being of larger beads than the two that flanked it, and then add a ribbon tie (non-functional, just a large-looped bow, sewn in place) and the charm in question, and call it done. But I'm not sure if that's quite fantastical enough.
Anyway. Thinky-think. :-)
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
(I'm loving that she's calling me regularly!)
She was all, like, "I'm going stir-crazy and I want company!"
And I said "Go to the $pread Magazine launch party! You're on the same island! Take advantage!"
So she's going to go. :-D
Yay for networking and having fun at the same time! :-D
Anyway. I'm sleepy and exhausted, so I'm going to go to bed. But I've re-organized my closet a little bit and sorted my beads into various earring configurations, so I'm happy. :-)
In considering Quarto bracelets, I'm thinking I could put a charm on each one. A train engine for Sei, a bee (or a bee hive) for November, a key (and/or a lock) for Oleg, and a book for Ludoviko. Sei and Oleg would have burgundy and crimson, though I'm not sure which would be for which. November would have carnelian, dark honeyed amber. Ludoviko would have scarlet, half for his cimeric wife.
This might or might not work.
And it would still require me to find the right beads.
It would be easy enough to just do a triple-strand of each - carnelian, coral, garnet... but I can't do rubies for crimson, so another stone (cherry amber?) would have to be found (possibly Czech glass, alas, but it would do) - possibly with the middle strand being of larger beads than the two that flanked it, and then add a ribbon tie (non-functional, just a large-looped bow, sewn in place) and the charm in question, and call it done. But I'm not sure if that's quite fantastical enough.
Anyway. Thinky-think. :-)
- TTFN,
- Amazon.
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